Reunions, Regrets & Redemption: A Farm, a Will, and a Trust Walk into a Field…

The Family Reunion I Almost Didn’t Go To (Again)

Every year, they host a family reunion. Every year, I come up with 37 excuses not to go. I live a thousand miles away, it might rain, and honestly, there’s some 30-year-old emotional tumbleweed I still haven’t cleared.

Let me explain.

When I was a kid, my dad died in a car accident. Thankfully, thanks to his planning, we were financially okay. Fast-forward a decade, and his mom—my grandmother—passed away. When her will was read, everything went to my aunt and uncle. My siblings and I? We got a polite “we didn’t forget about you” check that wouldn’t cover a decent pair of work boots. It felt like my dad had been erased from the family tree—just a footnote, if that.

I was hurt. Deeply. I even wrote a letter to the family, probably powered by equal parts early adult rage and grief. I’m not even sure if I sent it. This was pre-email, so hitting “Send” meant licking an envelope and risking real-world consequences.

That’s the baggage I’ve carried into every reunion invite since.

But last weekend, I went. And I talked to my cousin—the one running the family farm. We talked land, legacy, and something called a Family Farm Preservation Trust. It’s a plan to protect the land for future generations, keeping it in the family—even the asterisked ones like me.

It’s not a magic fix, but it was a meaningful moment. One that maybe—just maybe—makes next year’s reunion a little easier to show up for.

Because sometimes healing starts with a conversation… and maybe a trust.

Confessions of a Title Tinkerer: How a 40-Year-Old Business Card Inspired My Latest Obsession

The card that I have been thinking about the past few decades. How could I put my spin on it?

When Inspiration Strikes (And My Family Worries)

Sometimes, I get so laser-focused on a project that my family starts giving me that look. You know, the one that says, “Are you okay, or do you need an intervention?” Well, I’m happy to report that I’ve finished the 1.0 version of my latest obsession. And no, it’s not a new app, a groundbreaking invention, or even an NFT. It’s… a business card.

But not just any business card.


Blast From the Past: The Original Card That Started It All

Back in the good ol’ days of selling cell phones—closer to 40 years ago than 30—I came across a business card that stuck with me. It was a bold, hilarious card with no contact information, clearly a joke (or maybe a way to avoid being constantly called). But it wasn’t just a joke—it was art. It described someone’s services in a way that was both ridiculous and oddly compelling.

Fast-forward to today, and this quirky little card still “lives” rent-free in my brain. So, naturally, I decided to create my own version—a card that reflects my personality and skill set, but with a nice guy twist.


The Creative Process: When Chatbots and Family Weigh In

Crafting my own version of this card wasn’t as simple as slapping a few titles on a piece of cardstock. Oh no. It became a full-blown project. Here’s what went into it:

  1. Family Feedback:
    • I tested multiple titles on my family, only to get vetoed with comments like, “That’s not you,” or “Please don’t put that on a card.”
  2. Chatbot Creativity:
    • I fed some titles into a chatbot, asking it to come up with catchier versions. It responded with alliterative gems and ideas that screamed, “Include me!”
  3. Trial and Error:
    • I experimented with formatting, swapped titles in and out, and gauged success based on whether a title made me laugh or at least smile.

The result? A business card brimming with quirky, creative job titles that feel just right.


What’s Next: Titles and Their Stories

The card itself is done, but the project isn’t over. Each title on my new business card represents a different facet of who I am, and I plan to write a post about each one. These posts will:

  • Explain why I chose the title.
  • Dive into how it reflects my personality, skills, or sense of humor.

It’s a mix of self-reflection, storytelling, and (hopefully) entertainment. Entertainment or not, I am going to write them anyway. 🙂

The card I ended up with. It is the 1.0 version. I may shuffle a title in or out. Wherever the 2.0 version goes, I have a good start!

Father’s Day: Same Tune, New Dance Steps (and a Double-Fly Finale)

Father’s Day this year had all the usual suspects—family, food, and a flurry of “Happy Father’s Day” messages—but also a few new twists that made it stand out. Here’s the recap from the Dad’s-eye-view:


Family Greetings: The Modern Medley

  • In person: Two kids, now in the same city, delivered their best wishes face-to-face—always a treat.
  • Remote: Another kid texted (he’d visited the day before, so he gets partial credit).
  • Combo platter: The youngest offered a text/phone hybrid greeting. Due to half the family being present during her call, her full “Father’s Day” enthusiasm was politely restrained. (I’m saving up for the encore performance.)

Highlight Reel: Dad’s Day Moments

1. The Double-Fly Clap of Legend

With my son as witness, I pulled off an Olympic-level “clap” maneuver—taking out two flies at once.

  • No fly swatter, no problem: Just raw dad reflexes and an innate sense for dramatic timing.
  • Aftermath: Flies disposed of, hands scrubbed, and my son reminded that Dad’s still got it.
  • Flies’ perspective: Worst Father’s Day gift ever.

2. The Men’s Choir: Not Quite the Tenors

At church, all the men got a front-row seat in the choir area.

  • Songs sung: Zero, unless you count my “joyful noising” (which the congregation might not).
  • Dress code: Just face forward at an awkward angle—wide shoulders are a blessing and a curse.
  • Practice required: None, unless you count my wife noticing my unorthodox posture.

3. Wicker Assembly: Dad vs. The Allen Wrench

Outdoor furniture assembly—round two, or, more accurately, round two out of four.

  • Muscle strain: Apparently, the Allen wrench is mightier than the sword…and my lower back.
  • Recovery time: Longer than it used to be, but I still have two chairs left (and plenty of excuses).
  • Note to future self: Next time, consider a nap before assembly.

4. Grandpa Duty: The Sleep Whisperer

After grilling chicken and enjoying dinner, I settled into my most important role—grandpa.

  • Game night: The rest played “Exploding Kittens” while I deployed my legendary baby-rocking skills.
  • Battle of wills: Granddaughter resisted, but ultimately surrendered to sleep, confirming my status as the Baby Whisperer (Retired, but still active).

Looking Ahead: Future Traditions

  • More grandkids? Bring them on—there’s always room for another lap.
  • Father’s Day traditions: If assembling wicker furniture is required in the future, I’ll propose that as my only contribution (with a generous side of supervision).

Here’s to Father’s Days that are the same, but a little different, every year—just the way I like them.

The Seventh Decade Shuffle: New Moves, Old Joints, and Unexpected Beats

Entering my seventh decade feels a bit like joining a new season of “Dancing with the Stars”—except the stars are my grandkids, my doctor, and the ever-present siren call of retirement planning. Here’s how the choreography is going so far:


1. The Weighty Waltz

Walking daily used to keep the “pound demons” at bay.
Now?

  • The demons apparently have better cardio than I do.
  • Is it my slower pace, shorter distance, or is my body still in mourning for the Texas trails I left behind?
  • Oklahoma, you’ve got big walking shoes to fill.

2. The Lab Report Rumba

Yearly physicals now come with a side of mystery:

  • “Good news: your liver and kidneys are happy campers! But why is your potassium doing the cha-cha?”
  • Turns out, swapping candy for nuts and raisins comes with its own plot twist—sky-high potassium.
  • Considering switching to cranberries, but they just don’t have the same snack-appeal.
  • Even my daily Sonic Iced Tea is under nutritional review. Next up: water, but only if garnished with denial.

3. The Proximity Polka

For the first time in years, I’m within 25 minutes of two of my kids—and a grandchild!

  • After the nomadic years of college, internships, and “that little COVID reunion,” this is a big change.
  • New grandparent dance moves required. Baby steps, literally.

4. The Retirement Riff

Testing out the “retirement dance”:

  • What will it look like when my wife and I both retire?
  • Will we be waltzing into the sunset, or quickstepping around health insurance premiums?
  • She might keep consulting to protect our nest egg from an early molt.

5. The Local Loop (or, The Costco Conga)

New city, new adventures! Or, at least, new routes to Sam’s, Costco, Aldi, and Chick-Fil-A.

  • If exploring means discovering a new traffic light between me and a chicken sandwich, consider me Magellan.

6. The Pickup Truck Two-Step

Still driving the Sienna van to Home Depot.

  • I throw down the seats and hope no one notices me hauling mulch with minivan swagger.
  • Someday, I’ll get a truck—and finally earn those approving nods from fellow DIYers.

7. The Flexibility Foxtrot

Kids nearby today, but maybe not tomorrow.

  • Any comfort I find in this house or city could be temporary—family migration is always a possibility.
  • Like any good dancer, I need to stay light on my feet (and limber in the mind).

Final Bow

No dread—just anticipation. This decade will reveal its steps with or without my rhythm. While my bones are still flexible (ish), my mind has some catching up to do. Admitting it is my first move toward embracing the dance.


May your seventh-decade shuffle be full of laughs, love, and only the occasional pulled muscle.

Leap Into the Unknown: A Hilarious Yet Heartfelt Recap of the Leap Year That Changed Everything

(While my anonymous assistant captured some memories of our last leap day/year, he didn’t realize how special it was having our family living under the same roof for one last 6 month period.)

Ah, February 29, 2020. The leap day that leaped us right into what would affectionately (or not so affectionately) come to be known as the “Covid-times.” Little did we know, as we added that extra day to our calendars, that we were also about to add an unprecedented chapter to the story of our lives. Here’s a humorous, yet reflective look back at the transition into a world where “unprecedented” became everyone’s least favorite buzzword, and toilet paper became more valuable than gold.

The Great Indoors

Remember when “staying in” was for the introverts and the “Netflix and chill” crowd? Oh, how the tables have turned. Suddenly, our homes became our offices, our gyms, and our Michelin-star restaurants (if you squinted hard enough at your burnt toast). We became masters of our own little universes, each day a journey from the bedroom to the living room, with exotic vacations to the forgotten lands of “The Backyard.”

Zooming Through Life

Before 2020, Zoom was just a sound effect from a comic book or a feature on a camera. Fast forward a few weeks, and it’s where we lived our lives—business meetings in the top half, pajama party in the bottom half. We learned the hard way that “mute” is both a feature and a lifestyle, and that “Sorry, I was talking on mute” is the modern-day equivalent of “My dog ate my homework.”

The Fashion Revolution: Pajamas to the Rescue

Speaking of fashion, let’s have a moment of silence for our work clothes, who watched in despair from the closet as their casual cousins took center stage. Ties became relics of a bygone era, high heels gathered dust, and bras… well, let’s just say they went on an extended vacation. In the Covid-times, comfort reigned supreme, and if you managed to wear socks that matched, you were already ahead of the curve.

The Toilet Paper Chronicles

In what will surely be a puzzling chapter for future historians, the early days of the pandemic saw a global obsession with hoarding toilet paper. Supermarket aisles became battlegrounds, and a roll of two-ply was worth its weight in gold. Looking back, it’s hard not to chuckle at the absurdity of it all—our civilization’s advanced technology and sophisticated cultures, momentarily upended by the pursuit of bathroom tissue.

Learning to Laugh

Despite the challenges, or perhaps because of them, we learned the importance of laughter. We shared memes like they were going out of style (which, let’s face it, they never will), and found humor in the most unexpected places—from Zoom backgrounds gone wrong to the great sourdough bread baking saga. In a world turned upside down, laughter became our universal language, a reminder that even in the darkest times, there’s a lightness to be found.

As we reflect on the leap day that leaped us into the Covid-times, it’s with a mixture of nostalgia and disbelief. We’ve come a long way since those early days of uncertainty and toilet paper hoarding. And while we may not miss the lockdowns or the endless days of isolation, we’ll always cherish the lessons learned, the laughs shared, and the resilience discovered along the way. Here’s to leaping into the future, whatever it may hold, with the same courage, humor, and adaptability that got us through the leap year that changed everything.

Neglected Baby?

When I walk, I see all manner of things. I have seen a heavily tattooed lady with a photographer getting glam shots with the train tracks as a backdrop. I have seen birds of prey along the train tracks who were apparently killed somehow during that interaction. And, when I see people pushing their dogs (either small or old) in “pet movers”, I still pinch myself. A few weeks ago, I think I saw a mother pushing a baby carriage (or a pram for those who watch streaming shows taking place in England).

As I was nearing the long stretch of path along the train tracks, I was certain I saw a mother with an old-fashion style baby carriage. It was not one of those that allowed mothers to walk/jog while the child faced forward and had no contact with the mother. (Yes, sometimes it is the father, but mothers (or nannies?) seem to get “child walking” duty most often than the men.) As they turned off the path, I thought, “Maybe I will see them again when I turn off on that same road.” Well, I didn’t. I did find the toy pictured above at the entrance to a neighborhood. It was not “dropped” on the rock. I set it there, hoping the “mystery mom” would find it and reclaim it. And, if it were too filthy to reclaim, maybe she would decide to remove the reminder of her previous carelessness. After a few weeks and being abused by the week of Texas winter, the toy remained unclaimed.

The bottle is another matter. Realizing the previous baby carriage may have been a pet mover with spa services (i.e. chew toys etc), I am not sure how to explain the bottle. The “mother who is staring at her phone and ignoring her child” is one possibility. My preferred theory is a weekend visitor who took a walk and failed to notice the bottle tumbling from the child. For this theory to hold true, a grandmother who may have been walking with the mother and child would have also ignored the child.

My parenting days were many years ago. I suppose I may have been too attentive to my kids. I can’t imagine being with my young kids and not noticing the loss of some dear toy or source of nourishment. This is not an indictment of parents today. It is a legitimate question. What is more important than keeping track of your kids? Based on the stories in the news, many parents today have a list longer than I did.

Todays Walk 1.015

When:  Interspersed throughout the day
Weather: Freezing overnight; sunny and high 40’s by afternoon
Observations/Thoughts

I used the day to bond with my daughters in different ways.  I didn’t take a dedicated walk.  I did not hit my normal walking quota.  I find it special to do unique things with them.  Their mom is the one who does crafts with them and plans their parties.  I have to carve out my niche where I can.

  • Mistletoe:  Our elm tree in the backyard is full of mistletoe.  My oldest daughter considers herself a tree climber.  She climbed up into the tree with a little boost from her father.  Climb as she might, the mistletoe was out of her reach.  She continued to cut the new branches that had sprouted up along the main branches.  I retrieved the extendable hand saw from the garage.  I “trimmed” off all of the mistletoe I could reach.  When the ladder was added to the equation, I could reach a little more.  The trimming was unsteady when balancing on a ladder.  It was especially so when wielding a tool while doing a sawing motion.  My daughter tried her hand at the trimming.  It felt necessary to complete the bonding.
  • Picked up their car:  Earlier in the week, my daughters had a little problem with her car stopping in the appropriate length of time.  Dad sweated it out for one day as she drove the car the next day.  She got home and back again, so dad was happy.  Her car ended up at the dealership the next day.  After going thru the diagnosis, it was found the car had a bent rim and a few other things.  The bent rim was playing with the sensors and preventing the car from stopping in the expected time.  A commitment to pay a fee and a few hour wait was all it took to be greeted by our “new” car.  Without the girls having a safe car, it was hard for dad to relax.  Now, I can let my guard down a little in this area.
  • New bank account:  Going to the bank to get something done on Saturday before a 3-day weekend is not a guaranteed quick trip.  Today, it was not.  My youngest daughter and I waited for over half an hour before I could meet with a bank officer.  Getting an account set up is not hard.  But, sitting in the lobby will not get it done.  When we were able to speak to Daniel, he multi-tasked.  He spoke of rattlesnakes from West Texas, his 10-month old son, and his desire to make a difference in the world.  We contributed some info on my daughter’s robotics team, and maybe a little bit of what life looks like thru my eyes.  The minutes flew by as the account was created.
  • Cleared out the garage:  The final task was well overdue.  Recent illness and cold temperatures kept the project from going forward.  The project took on some steam when my son moved out with his dog.  The edges are still in need of some clutter removal.  The center is almost car worthy.  The ladder (a couple head injuries resulted from the suspended ladder) and the bikes are now engaged intimately with the garage’s ceiling.  The soccer balls and water guns of old will fill the garbage truck when it next travels our streets.  Furniture and other things of no further adult purpose were also discarded OR guided toward more suitable homes.

Tomorrow is supposed to be another nice day.  A walk of the more conventional type is sure to take place.

Free Drinks

Although I have gotten free drinks (these are the non-alcoholic type) in the past, I had some good fortune over the past week.  Two different establishments volunteered to give me a free drink even though I was willing to pay for it.  This was no scheme.  It did not involve taking advantage of any unique promotions.  Neither did it involve dressing up like an employee and wondering into the back with an empty cup.  Since I am sure the curiosity is killing you (it is killing me as well.  Can I walk the story thru with enough warping to make it more interesting than was the original experience?), let me begin….

With a dentist appointment ahead of me that morning, I was concerned to brush before I went.  My breakfast of 2 cups of coffee and a piece of toast was followed by my mouth being molested for 2 minutes by my electric toothbrush.  After the near silence common to parents who drive their teenage children to nearly any activity(in this case school), I chose to stop at a Panera before my dentist visit.  As I lugged in my laptop and threw on my cap, I must have done something to very negatively affect my appearance.  After being asked what I wanted, my response of a “medium coffee” was followed by an, “It’s on my today.”  My billfold quickly dropped back into the comfortable recesses of my pocket.  I gave a hearty “Thank you” at the time I received the cup and again a few minutes afterward.  Was I wearing the “secret hat color of the day”?  Was I the 125th customer?  Did I look so haggard it was all about pity and nothing to do with some mystery to remain unsolved?  Or, did my new friend know the dentist would tell me I had been a very, very bad boy lately.?

Just yesterday, my son decided nothing presently living in our refrigerator–a survivor of one of our dinners over the past couple of days–was worth of his consumption.  He requested I run him up to the local Whataburger for a hamburger.  Since leftovers translate into, “I am not buying you your next meal.”, he knew he would be buying whatever he ate.  While driving him there–a five-minute drive even if driven in reverse, I received a phone call.  The call was quick but not so quick that I finished it up before my son had his order placed and paid for.  After completing my call, I walked to the register.  As I pointed my thumb at my son, I said, “I was hoping to place it on his order so he could pay for it.”  The employee felt some pity or exercised some liberal interpretation of some company rule dictating when a drink can be given away for free.  He handed me a cup and said, “Enjoy.”  Without hesitation, my mouth uttered a, “Thank you.  I will.”  Maybe he sensed father/son time is better when dad has a root beer.  Or, maybe he just sensed the free drink would make sure the conversation would stay away from the topics that sometimes strain the father/son relationship.  Whatever his logic, it helped!

 

Apparent Contradiction

As my wife and daughters left to go to my older daughter’s early 16th birthday “tea” party, I had just sat down and started to get relaxed.  Then, my phone received a couple of  text and a short dialogue ensued.

WIFE:  I have my car keys. You’re stuck unless you find the spare
WIFE: Sorry
ME: Nothing important to do. I hope [INSERT DAUGHTERS NAME] enjoys it!!
WIFE: I actually need u to bring me something.

If the texting was not clear enough, my wife took my car with my keys while keeping the keys to her car as well.  It seems I was being told “You can’t go anywhere, butif you will ride a bike, please bring me this.”  Fortunately, it was not that dire, but it did take a little work.

Since her car was not locked, I was able to retrieve the necessary item from her trunk.  Just as I found the item, my son made it home from walking his dog.  His car was parked out front and if he was willing, he just might be able to help fulfill my wife’s request.   The tea party was about 4 miles away.  My bike legs were a little rusty, so fulfilling her request was dependent on a vehicle with available keys.  Once I got him to commit to the assignment, the first set of directions came like this:

WIFE:  Down [Insert street name] just north of the Whataburger.  It is on the right.

Fortunately, my wife quickly realized those type of directions might delay the delivery of the requested party item.  Shortly afterwards, she provided the exact address.

My son returned from the delivery glad he could help his sister with her tea party.  I was glad momma and everyone else got to learn the nuances of tea etiquette.  (The requested item was multiple copies of this multi-choice “test”.)  My wife does a great job planning parties, and my daughter deserves a good one!  Love you dear!!