Life

Exchange Student Fried Rice

A great experience was had the other night. (As I write this on Monday, it happened last night.) With less than 2 weeks in America, our Chinese student was convinced she could make fried rice for dinner for us. We were not sure if the ingredients from Kroger would give her enough spice to be pleased with her creation. (There was minimum Asian spice options at Sprouts, and the local Asian market is still on our “to do” list.) We had a few unknowns. Despite these, we/she persevered!

She decided to make two separate batches of fried rice. Our jambalaya from earlier in the week convinced her smoked sausage would be an excellent ingredient in whatever she would attempt to create. This doesn’t rule out shrimp-fried rice, but it was not to be created this evening. Her ingredients and any applicable back story:

Smoked sausage: (listed above) We love this stuff! When you buy the 3 lb package at Sam’s, it is always good to have multiple ways to use it.
Rice: At home in China, her parents have a rice maker. She was a little skeptical I could make adequate rice in a pan w/ a lid on the stove. Fortunately, the goal was achieved. (The fact we misjudged the amount of rice necessary was a very small point!)
Celery: She did not precook this at all. She probably only included a couple of stalks for both of the varieties.
Carrots: Probably only 10 or so carrot nubs (what I call the small little carrots that are demanded by all children when they pack their lunches. 😉 She boiled them for a little while before cutting them into little pieces.
Eggs: Prior to starting the frying process, a couple eggs were cooked and readied to be dumped into the fried rice. (So, they were fried before being fried.)
Green onions: Cut and in a separate bowl. These were added at the end. Earlier in the week, after having a bit of Mexican food, she had mentioned using cilantro in the fried rice. Having established a baseline rice, we can now consider creating some mutations.
Soy sauce: Not much, but the garden variety of stuff is probably fine.
Lee Kum Kee Chile Garlic Sauce: This stuff added great flavor, although I am not sure if its spiciness may have created some chaos once it entered my body. Very flavorful, but…..???
Ketchup: We just used standard Heinz. It probably amounted to a couple of tablespoons. She told a story of how for one week in China all she ate for all of her meals was ketchup fried rice. (I believe there was also some protein [shrimp or sausage?] with it.) When her mother found out, she scolded her.
Lee Kum Kee Oyster Flavored Sauce: This sauce/seasoning did not go in the ketchup flavored fried rice. It may have just been her choice.

Tools

Wok/pan: She claimed my wok was too big. So, we used our indoor pan-not the one claiming to be a non-stick.
Heat source: When I got my wok, I got a outdoor burner to use it on. It can easily get to over 400 degrees if necessary.

Results

Good meal: Both types of rice were very good. The ketchup version was good, but I probably enjoyed the other version better. It had a little more heat and flavor. And, even though I have confirmed with our Chinese student that they have ketchup in her refrigerator at home, it still seems sooooo American. Something without ketchup is certainly more exotic and interesting.
Warmups for school lunches: The next day, all remaining rice ended up in somebodies lunch. The little plastic containers were all packed full, and stowed away until the appropriate school lunch time arrived. To my knowledge, all who took the rice ate it cold the next day.

Future Meals….?

Since having this meal, we have discussed what other items we might make fried rice with. We had some pork the other night that was being considered for fried rice, but it ended up in pork and noodles. (We had never made pork and noodles before, but we were assured by our local fried rice consultant it was the better choice.) However, if we did the fried rice w/ pork, she thought the addition of spinach might be a good touch. When she first arrived, her often hear comment was, “Chinese….we eat everything.” And, I suppose if you have the capacity to eat everything, you should know how to accompany it. As a corollary to “eating everything”, there is “wasting nothing”. I am sure if we didn’t have spinach available, she would have come up with something else to throw into the wok w/ the rice and pork. There will likely be a seafood, beef and/or chicken fried rice before the final votes are cast on “best” fried rice.

As with all of the many experiences the exchange students have provided, we just sit back and watch and lend a hand when asked. To come this far from their family, they have to have a spirit of independence. It only seems logical we try and encourage their independence. Since we are not native to their countries, anything they cook us is going to be judged very much in their favor. Although we may have ideas on Chinese or Korean food, our daily interaction with them and how and what they eat gives us a much fuller picture of what life is like around their dinner tables when at home. Our palates can only become richer from the experience! Our teenage daughters cannot help but be more open to foods from other cultures. (In the past, there have been occasional reservations.) And, our refrigerator and I (official member of the leftover police and the excessive plastic container detectors) are grateful for other options as we effectively reuse our food overages in creative and tongue-pleasing ways!

Waiting Room Etiquette

As I got an oil change this morning on my wife’s car, I had my Kindle by my side. I had nothing really pressing that needed read, but since the maintenance light was turned on on the dash, reading here was just fine. (This was the place we always come, so they had our license plate and all of our info in their system.) As my cell phone rang and I immediately stepped out of the door to prevent others from having to listen to my call, I realized people standards vary on how they interact with those they share the waiting room with.

You should leave the waiting room when you are on the phone: Two other customers also received calls and stepped out of the waiting room. I had no way to judge them or what is going on in their lives because other than minimum interaction with the oil change staff, I did not hear their voices. However, if a person chooses to stay in the waiting room and talk to the staff of her mother’s rehab center about her mother’s depression and how the move has been so hard on her, then my brain gets filled with information that would otherwise be private. I really prefer not to know about all of the challenges that people face if I don’t know your name first.
Where to sit: This is a pretty obvious issue. In almost NO cases should a person sit next to another person. To help clarify this point, I will sometimes put my extra items on the seat next to me. Since I was on the edge, I only had one seat to protect. As a person sits in the middle, this strategy is not always as effective. Corners are also good. Just as in Tic-Tac-Toe, there are good starting positions and better places to put an “0” if an “X” is already present. If TV viewing is a must, the rules are slightly modified. However, if you don’t like woman’s talk shows, you better have a book or a smartphone.
Talking with fellow waitees: I have talked to others before, but this happens quite a bit less than half the time. If someone is reading a book and I catch the title or if I see a religious symbol of some type, I might say something. If the response is unenthusiastic, I am not married to the idea of engaging in a conversation. At the moment, I cannot think of many/any times a fellow waitee has started a conversation with me. If so, it was likely based on the person eavesdropping on me attempted conversation. So, something in my failed conversation served as a catalyst for the “new” conversation.

I am sure there are other rules that apply, but I intersected with none of them today. A little advice during checkout,,,if you say “yes” to any of their recommendations (rotate tires, change bulbs or change filters), ask for a discount. I used an expired coupon today and received $20 off of the air filter. Saving money almost makes knowing the problems of my fellow waitees mother worth while….

Our Grill’s New Job

Our grill has been a standard in our house for a number of years. While living in Ohio, we have used it in January and whenever it seemed appropriate. (When you are hungry for something grilled and weenies at the fireplace is not enough, you have to choose the grill!) Our first Texas grill went through a couple of cooking surfaces before we realized we could do better and cheaper over the long term. Our grill has been friendly with chicken (with many different glazes and configurations) for a number of years. This year our grill became an herbivore. (Depending on the night of the week, it is a vegetarian.) Yes, it has had a few skewers of chicken and veggies on it before. As the pictures shows, it is meatless with only a little olive oil to give it a slight feeling of being manly.

Our grill did not become a “sometimes” eunuch over night. It has been a gradual process. A process that began accelerating in the spring. My daughters, specifically my oldest daughter, wanted to eat better. However, since we like our hamburgers, brats, mac n’ cheese, and other comfort foods, it was not enough for her to make this resolution for just herself. She began discouraging us (If you knew this daughter, discouraging is a mild word. Buying something like a few gummy bears at Sprouts would make her throw every form of guilt she could at you. And, if I was at Walmart and came home with a couple packages of knock-off Oreos, she would give me the “Do-you-really-love-me?” treatment. When I say persuasive on this issue, it is only scratching the surface of what goes on. She is the “anti-catalyst” for sweets entering your mouth and any enjoyment that might happen afterwards.) from participating in sweet things. She does still allow slight caloric sins, but compared to most teenage girls, she is very disciplined in this area.

Although we had visited Sprouts prior to her being possessed by this creature with mild-to-severe “allergies” to sugar, the girls became much more excited about these visits in the spring. Once we were bored with Sprout’s offerings, we had to mix it up a little bit. Although Trader Joes is not as convenient, we have wondered there a couple of times to allow her to seek out various ingredients. (They also have the black mango tea I like.) With Whole Foods opening up close to our home, the variety of healthy-food shopping options makes it almost impossible for us to “not” find certain ingredients she needs for her various health food mixes, smoothies, and/or other concoctions she believes will give her body the respect it demands. And, now, with the arrival of our Asian exchange students and their desire to maintain multiple appearances of fruit (strawberries, raspberries, melons etc) and vegetables at every meal, it appears we are locked into this “healthy” cycle for at least another 9 months.

If vegetables would immediately be flavorful, we would not have had to invite the grill to our pseudo-vegetarian party. As good as baked beans can be and as bad as microwaved corn can be, it seemed crazy to NOT invite the grill sooner. We suffered through endless zucchini-ish veggies mixes sauteed on the stove. We ate bland green beans, and if we were lucky we might get a sweet potato or two. Broccoli with cheese sauce may be yummy, but it does not scream healthy. With our vegetable past being less than cordial, we just needed to break down and let the grill convince us it could create “happy” flavors in the veggies we offered it.

In the image above, there are eggplant(we have grilled w/ and w/o the skin. The skin is not good to eat [our Asians liked it], but it does hold the eggplant “meat” together very well.), red peppers (previously, we only grilled to include in our hummus) , zucchini and yellow squash. (We also do onions, but none present on this night.) After flipping a few times and dabbing in olive oil, they usually come out pretty well. The heat is down all the way when cooking. After dabbing with the oil, the fire sometimes starts licking its lips in anticipation of a sacrifice. A shuffling of the grills contents usually brings the fire back into submission. We are still fiddling with the thickness of the zucchini and squash. If cut to thin, they burn fast. If too fat, they are a little on the mushy side. A couple of evenings ago, we cooked up 6 small zucchini, 2 squash, 1 onion and 1 pepper. Nothing was left at the end of the meal.

Whatever my daughter(s) motivation for pulling/tugging/shoving us down this pathway, I am glad we have all jumped on it together. (With my wife doing a pretty particular diet, she does not always actively participate in our recent meals with the higher vegetable percentage.) As a significant birthday awaits me later this year, I am glad to be able to gain awareness and a pathway to healthier eating. (I am still convinced we didn’t eat badly before. We are just eating better now.) As I continue to enjoy my family and look forward to what a long life might offer, I will gladly modify any corner of my life that needs sandpaper. I guess I will go to Whole Foods and see if they have a sandpaper squash….

Tongue Twisters: Lost In Translation

As is often the case, something is said and the unexplained synapses takes place. When in a house with 4 teenage girls of three differing nationalities, it is sometimes hard to remember what the catalyst was for the mental belly smacker. Whatever the case, I started reciting the tongue twister “Peter Piper Picked a peck of pickled peppers……”

Following this, it was only logical to ask if they also have tongue twisters in their countries. And, although I expected it, I was a little caught off guard when they recited them. With no ability to determine what syllable belonged to what word, I had no chance of understanding and/or repeating any of the 3 or 4 tongue twisters they rapidly produced. All I could do was stare blankly with my mouth slightly ajar with 100% confidence I could not reproduce ANY of the sounds they had just completed uttering.

Feeling like a failure due to my tongues lack of energy and enthusiasm, the only way to partially redeem myself was asking, “So, what do they mean?” The first Korean tongue twister was something to do with a giraffe with a long neck but due to peer pressure he needed a shorter neck so he accidentally got bariatric surgery instead of neck reduction surgery. The second Korean tongue twister had something to do with two guys who owned the same store or similar stores, but one of them wouldn’t order items from China, so he was having trouble making any profit. (There is a small chance I forgot exactly what the tongue twister was about—very small!) The Chinese one had something to do with a tree that was growing slowly and a panda could not wait on it to grow so he decided to start eating the bamboo. (Also sketchey on the translation of this one.) Regardless of their meanings, I am absolutely certain the English explanation of what they claimed they said was not remotely close to a tongue twister. And, for all I know, they may have been reciting their alphabet or “Mary had a little lamb” (or equivalent)

Why do I seem to take pleasure in distorting reality so? Why do I insist on falsely remembering what exactly happened? Once my age is dismissed and my disposition is adjusted for, I just enjoy making a smile (or hint of a smile) appear on someones face. And, if it has not been noticed, I am certain we have the best exchange students ever. It has been great fun, and we have SO much school year to go. I have asked them both already if their parents will just let them stay with us. Since this seems unlikely, we will try to suck as much culture out of them as we can. Not being greedy, we are offering to fill the newly greatly void with all of the American culture they can handle. Lots of good times await!

Tea For Two

I was very glad when my son could come home this weekend after having been gone for two weeks. He had only completed his first week of “official” school, but it was still quite good to see my second born. While his hair was longer and his beard appeared to be in need of reduction, my brain’s facial recognition software still picked him out rather quickly. And, since he was in our house, even very buggy software would have picked him out.

Besides our normal father/son chatting, our mutual affection for ice tea (specifically black mango) did come up in conversation. So, after the arrived home Thursday night, we planned a couple of tea runs. Although we normally buy a gallon of tea at the local QT, we optioned to buy individual refillable glasses for our first “run”. (It really was not the optimal way to buy the tea. After he left for school, I decided to free up the freezer space and stop filling it with two pitchers of tea-one our homemade-decaf-black-mango AND one from QT with their specially caffeine, sweetened version of the same. The decaf version was maintained in his absence, but the QT version got pulled. When it was pulled, the lid “somehow” disappeared, making its discounted refilling an impossibility.) Our first run provided a full 54 oz each of the sweetened beverage (we mix our tea, so it is not ALL sweet or all NOT sweet) We were happy and quenched.

When Saturdays “run” needed to be done, I knew we would likely also need to make a Sunday run to give him tea for the drive back to school. As my cheapskate took control, I searched for a gallon jug I could use and fill. I was rewarded by a milk jug full of water. The jug had previously been in our freezer taking up space–it was my idea so I thought the freezer was fuller than it really was and I would stop buying so much “stuff”. My wife determined this wish was not important, and took it out anyways. After giving the jug a quick bath in bleach and finding a lid that “sorta” fit on top, we ran to QT.

As we did our pre-filling taste test to confirm the tea was worth the expense, we filled our jug. There may have been a little leaking while we were filling the jug. This was merely attributed to Jeff being a little sloppy filling it up. Once we starting walking to the front to pay for it, our prognosis became much more dire. Our patient was “bleeding” out and needed a tourniquet or some other form of immediate first aid, or she might not make it home. Fortunately, a few napkins and a few spills as the tea sloshed over the car’s floor mat allowed us to arrive home w/ only a 20-25% or so loss. As soon as the car was in the garage, I rushed in to get 2 large cups to pour off the tea before it continued to flow out through our very leaky container.

Despite the need to soak up the moisture on the front passenger side, the leaving the floor mats on the driveway to drive out, and the loss of tea, I really enjoyed myself! I had a little adventure with my son. He saw dad didn’t get rattled by a small little thing like a leaky jug. And, most importantly, we did something together that we can refer back to in a few years that will start with, “I remember when…..”

Exchange Personalities

Having survived my first weekend with our exchange students, their personalities are starting to become more clear. The honeymoon is not yet over officially–they are still acting very polite and are very joyful. As their sleep becomes more normalized, their personalities also become more clear….

Our Korean student has some very clear traits:

She is very enthusiastic and joyful. She can make peeling a peach or cutting a melon into pieces a great deal of fun. She says “great” often, and for her, I think it is.
Mosquitoes seem to like her. I teased her and told her, “When the mosquitoes knew we were going to get exchange students, they requested someone from Korea. Koreans are extra-sweet!”
She is having a little more trouble adjusting to the time change. She took another nap today of about 2 hours. I don’t think her adjustment is going as well OR all of the language translation going on inside her head is taking its toll.
She absolutely loves fruit. She is adventuresome in trying new food. And, I don’t think we have offered them anything to eat yet that they have not liked. (We made grilled chicken on the grill tonight. There were a couple of spots with darker grill marks. Both of the students cut these off, but ate all of the rest of it.)
She never had cantaloupe before coming to the US. She now loves it! Our Chinese students said Chinese cantaloupe-ish melons are bigger and not as sweet. And, honey dew melons are smaller than US honey dews.
We joked with her tonight. She dislikes the bright sunlight. And, since it was cloudy the past two days, we suggested she prayed for the clouds and the rain so she wouldn’t have to deal with them. She really doesn’t realize how lucky she was to experience a rainy day!

Our Chinese student is similar but different:

Although both of our students seem to grasp the English language at a pretty good level, our Chinese student seems to do it at a slightly higher level. Both of them grasp many new concepts well, but our Chinese student seems to be able to make greater leaps during conversations.
She loves to fold paper into various designs. She labored today for a considerable period of time trying to make a paper rose. She worked on it for over an hour. She is certainly capable of pretty good concentration.
On her cellphone/Itouch or what it is, she has a translation program. If we are talking and she can’t think of an English word, she does a search on it to try and keep the conversation moving. It has helped numerous times!
She was not planning on doing cross-country, but her mother told her she needs to exercise. She may only run/walk a couple of times per week. I believe Asian cultures typically respect their elders quite a bit. It is certainly the case with her. (Our Korean student also seems to have very good relationships with her parents.)
We had sweet potatoes for supper tonight. She claims the “meat” in sweet potatoes in China is purple. The Korean student claims the outside is purple and the inside is yellow.
It only took 3 days to get them into the pool. I believe they wished they would have braved it sooner. Where our Chinese student took the water temperature calmly, our Korean student had to talk her way in….
It was our first time to take them to Sonic tonight for a half-price milk shake. Our Chinese student remained strong and only sampled everyones. Our Korean student seems almost guaranteed to gain some weight–she finds it hard to say “no” to our treats.
I think she has a very good relationship with her father. She caught me individually a couple of times for extended conversations. She is a fine young lady!

As we continue to observe and respond to the small curves/hiccups that now fill our life, we are grateful. I try to keep my mind active with bits of sass doled out to all available family members. The experience of having exchange students allows me brain to operate on overdrive. My sass potential has gone up! My linking of jokes to other comments and events over the last 4 days has made my brain feel years younger! As school prepares to start in a couple of days, I know I will have less interaction with the girls. I think it will be fine. The synapses will keep firing even without a full day of exposure. Truly grateful we made the decision to open our home to two fine young ladies who are so eager to share and absorb.

Pre-Exchange Student Jitters

Today my life will begin a 10 month (or so) period of adjusting. No, I am not undergoing any medical procedures. And, I am not starting a new job. On Thursday, I will become an “exchange dad”.

In the past, our family has done fostering. (Foster kids in the house = foster dad.) In this role, I had some ups and downs. The kids the county brought into our house and gave us the opportunity to parent had a variety of challenges. None of those challenges are expected with these two. The “big” issue is going to be cultural. We are going to have to try and “Americanize” them while allowing ourselves to me slightly converted to their cultures. (The “slight” may vary from individual to individual household member, but we are pretty sure they will be rubbing off on us a little…)

Since being assigned the two girls, we have been sending a couple of emails back and forth every week. We know about their families (one girl has a “little father”–her father’s twin brother) and we have some idea what they may be interested in once they get here. We know one is a Christian and one has no affiliation. We know their age, country of origin, and birthdays. All of this really tells us nothing about how we might interact with them. Yes, emails can give you a little information. An email will not tell you if it took them 1/2 hour to write a few lines as they translated from their foreign language; it won’t tell you if they were smiling when they wrote it, or how anxious they were about leaving their native culture for a few months.

This is where I come in as the exchange dad. My kids will tell you (as will many of their friends)…I am a little quirky. If my kids are any indication, I must be on the “right” side of quirky. As I have enjoyed the quizzical looks on my kids faces as I have tried to invite them into some brain aerobics, I look forward to doing the same with the exchange students. As their English skills grow, I look forward to continuing to stretch their grasp of the language. I realize I need to have mercy on them. As those who look cross-eyed are warned “they may stay that way”, if they look quizzical too long, I have to be concerned their faces might also “stay that way” if there brain is stretched beyond is normal elasticity.

Unfortunately, my kids are used to all of my old, stale jokes. Although they do ask me to repeat them at certain intervals or act disappointed if I fail to attempt a fresh delivery of the “overplayed” material, I need a new audience. Reworking my dad material for a new set of kids w/ a different cultural background is a a challenge I am anxious to take on. There is a chance I may fail and find out my humor and “dadness” don’t cross cultural boundaries. The emails already exchanged with them make me think this will not be the case…. If I need to, I will develop some new material and give my old (nearly half century old) brain a project for the coming year. Looking forward to what stretch marks I have to show when the school year draws to a close!

The Blackened Fish Experiment

We have a side by side freezer as part of our indoor refrigerator. And, we also have an outdoor refrigerator. It is similar, but the freezer is on top. (When you have a few kids, and like to make a Sams run a couple times a month, you need more frig space. We used to put an extra carton of milk in it, but it seems our milk drinking days are mostly in our past…) Also, we have a top-opening freezer (I believe they are called a “chest” freezer). Quite a bit of space including a couple baskets at the top to make it very easy to bury items at the bottom. In a recent pseudo-defrosting party, we found meat and other items living on borrowed time. And, if too borrowed, they defrosted in a container with a plastic liner–they were not alone.

We recently committed to clean out our freezers for a couple of reasons. Beyond the obvious, “They were full.”, they also needed to make a little room for items we know we will be able to rotate through much more quickly. As we anticipate the arrival of our TWO foreign exchange students in three weeks, we want to make sure we have the necessary room to stock a few items that will especially tantalize their Asian taste buds. (At Whole Foods the other night, my bio-girls went crazy over all of the options available. When the house has 4 teenage girls, the glee will probably be almost tangible.) And, with the boys shifting into their fall schedules (whether commuting to school or living at a campus in a different state), the “big” eaters will soon be off the radar when it comes to planning most meals. (With their work schedule, their lack of attending meals has been a large cause of the accumulation of warmups. The thinning of the stock is really just a natural progression as our household evolves toward the goal of “empty-nesters”. [an eventuality, but a few years yet]).

As the freezers have been purged, some whacky meal combos have taken place. Last night it was sausage and frozen waffles. Not whacky you say? I made a peanut butter and jelly waffle sandwich. My daughters used Nutella, cashew butter, and whatever else we had in the house that was spreadable. But, I digress…. As an added bonus, we needed to clear out some dieting items accumulated in the freezer by my wife. (The turkey burgers are not bad, but they will NEVER be hamburgers.) We were fortunate to stumble upon a 2 pound bag of tilapia my wife had purchased. Since our meat typically had feet when it was alive, we were not sure how to prepare this fish. Not wanting to be boring, but not being excessively ambitious led us to the recipe on the tilapia package. Since “blackened” sounded interesting and the recipe was for 1 pound, we decided to double the recipe and “blacken” the whole package.

As we mixed the blackening rub together, it was obvious the fish was going to have some flavor! After spreading the rub on the fish and letting it sit for awhile before cooking, we attempted to perform the cooking side of the things. Again, another opportunity to improve on the NEXT visit to the “blackened” zone. It stuck, and it probably had more oil in it than was necessary, but a paper towel on the serving plate, and we were mostly good. During the meal, most of the reviews were okay. “Too hot” was a pretty typical response. Due to guilt for over spicing the fish and a an occasional need to punish my stomach for its failures of the past, I ate numerous portions. As the meal ended, 3 fillets were left on the plate.

It is here where the story become most interesting to me. I like to mix and match warmups. And, when able, I bribe and reward to get rid of warmups. Since previous “hot” meals turned into tame little pussycats when the flavors chilled for a night, I was hoping the fish had endured a similar fate. Never having tried them, but with an ample inventory of tortillas available, we embarked on a new pseudo-Mexican journey. (In my mind, if it has a tortilla, it is Mexican) Thankfully, the journey was a good one. The tamed tilapia was nearly perfect for a taco. I believe we through a little chipotle ranch and lettuce on the taco, too. The fish was the star! My only regret was eating as much fish as I did the night before–my daughters made me share the warmup.

All explanations aside, it would appear serendipity is not dead. What began as “Operation Make Space”, has had some highlights. The project continues. Fortunately, our taste buds have gotten a few pleasant surprise along the way. If we are lucky, they will hang in until the operation closes around Labor Day.

Just Peachy

Since the tradition started last year, I felt obligated to do my part to keep the tradition alive. With last years attendees out of town for my father-in-laws birthday in North Carolina, the mantle fell upon me to fetch the peaches for the eventual syrup and jam and associated mess.

My morning did not start out so that the rendezvous point would be easily achieved. My son (the original and younger of the Chick-Fil-A boys) needed to be at work at 9:00. The meeting point was 25 or more minutes away from the restaurant. (This was assuming good traffic and none of the dreaded “special weekend construction projects”.) After picking up cash from the ATM (they don’t take cards at the orchard), I got him to work. The traffic was very cooperative, but not too cooperative. I pulled into the Cracker Barrel at about 9:25. My friend is not know for being early. In fact, rarely does he ever arrive early. If not for his very disciplined spouse, he would have an even worse reputation. A quick text to him, gave me the expected and undesired response:

Me: Here
Friend: On the way
Me: How long?
Friend: Well, about 20-30 minutes or so.

Since he lives about half an hour away, it was clear what happened.

I am known to go almost nowhere without my book. Considering the company I keep, this does keep me from going crazy. Fortunately, he did arrive within his allotted time. He had to transfer water jugs to my car (we wanted to have room for the peaches). I grabbed my boots and hopped in his car. The car we were blocking in was patience with us as we loaded up and moved out.

The driving conversation to the orchard was light. We were driving up 35 heading to Oklahoma. My daughters have attended quite a few cross country meets up this way. My friend encouraged me to “lie” to him as to when he should arrive at all future meetings to try and compensate for his inability to properly plan his time. I poo-pooed the idea, but did not entirely dismiss it.

We eventually drove off the main road with a country kind of zig-zagging toward the Red River Peach Orchard. Besides many scrap yards and other businesses that often accumulate in somewhat rundown areas, we met these guys by the road.

By the time we arrived at the orchard, it was nearly 11:00. The cool weather was supposed to turn hot later. Since we went north and it was still early in the day, we hoped to have our buckets full before the day got too much older. Lots of things to see there. These are the things that stood out:

As soon as I got there, I went to the bathroom. The bathroom was fine. After washing my hands, the towel was a shared hand towel. And, tucked in where the towel was hooked was a spider nearly 3 inches across (not the body, but from leg to leg). He/she scurried up the wall. They were willing to share. Being a country boy, I dried my hands and felt inclined to warn the Asian lady w/ child who followed me in the line.
We received buckets to put our peaches into. They were not the cleanest things. My only real instruction was if you fill the bucket, it will be about 15 lbs. Having been told to get 30 lbs, the math worked out pretty easily. Once both my friend and I had our buckets, we went straight back even though we were told the pickings might be a little better behind where we parked. As we wandered into the peach trees, my friend who had been along when the tradition began the prior year commented on how the peaches appeared quite a bit smaller. The “lack of pruning” theory was proposed by me. We later found out the drought was the largest part of the problem.
SOOOOO many peaches on the ground. We understood we were not part of the “early pickers”. In fact due to our schedule, the tradition would have died if I have not able to go on this particular weekend. Whether the peaches fell directly to the ground from being overly ripe OR they were picked and discarded after a bad spot or worm hole was found OR they were picked and found to be not quite ripe enough to meet the pickers needs, the accumulation of peaches was fermenting very nicely. (Not being much for alcohol, I did not enjoy the smell.) The smell was so pervasive, it made the whole experience quite a bit less enjoyable. Whether it was whole peaches or peaches trampled under many different feet, the smell will be one of the first things I will think of when preparing for my next visit to the orchard.
I am not sure if the phenomenon was worse this year than other years (the owner assured me it happens to some extent every year). Nearly every tree had branches snapped off from the trunk. A few trees were completely leveled. None of their branches exceeded 3-4 feet in height. All of them completely snapped off from the base. The peaches remaining on the branches may have still been ripening. I chose to pick fruit more solidly plugged into the mother tree.
A.) The wildlife did find its need to be orchard dwellers, too. (bird, hoppers, spiders, worm laying bugs) The grasshoppers were hard to miss every step within the knee high grass disrupted some gorging or other malevolent intent. The well-fed jumpers were found covering trees and gnawing annoyingly on many beautiful peaches just as if they were doing that licking techniques older brothers do as they claimed their pieces of chicken etc. Once the “mark” was noticed, I know I wouldn’t pick them. There were more than one broken branch covered in grasshoppers. Other than the obvious consuming of leaves and marking the fruit, their congregating by the dozens made no sense to me. (Are they telling some gossip or just ridiculing the orchard owners for letting them so dominate the place?) A person I spoke to the other morning said chickens are good to have around when the grasshoppers are so thick. Not sure how all of those exoskeletons would have affected the eggs…..a little extra bounce in the yolk…??? B.) The birds were not being the natural predators they should have been! Yes, chickens could have been imported. The dining was plentiful, but the diners were few. There was one lonely dove who was being a good mom to whatever she sat upon. C.) Many of the bugs were assumed to be present. It was only in the later stages there presence was fully felt. Many peaches appeared perfect until the little hole was noticed in the otherwise nearly perfect complexion. In most cases, these nearly sinless tree spawn were tossed into the fermentation basin. Of those that made it into bucket and eventually home, any mercy shed on the imperfect fruit was regretted. In many cases the pit had a fine-wiggly friend tickling the inside of the peach’s inner pit-iness.
As we walked into the orchard of peach, our eyes were most immediately drawn to the fruits at eye level. As our eye filters became better capable at zeroing in on the “better” rather than the “good”, we realized much of the good was not going to find admittance into our buckets without a little help. Assuming my telekinetic skills were not choosing this moment to reveal themselves to me, it looked like a ladder or climbing skills were going to be necessary. (Based on many of the trees inability to hold securely to their limbs, climbing seemed to be a decision of last resort.) My friend mentioned the orchard last year seemed to have multiple ladders running around. (If this tradition continues next year, the phrase “this year” needs to be much more present. Based on what I experienced this year, a repeat next year will make picking peaches from a bin at a grocery store a much more rewarding experience.) As we got to the back corner of the orchard, a few ladders (maybe 3?) were hidden in the branches of a few of the trees. As we decided which trees to set the ladders up under, the closer we got to the trees, the more difficult it was to find a location where the “top hangers” could be collected. Once the ladder was placed and the obligatory couple of peaches were sacrificed to the fermentation pit by the ladders careless movement, we climbed the ladder and looked at the fruit at eye level. Somehow many of the succulent orbs of flavor became much less desirable treasures when our hands met them. Of course, much of the fruit was deemed at minimum good, and it took up residence in our buckets. The most difficult challenge was claiming a ladder after our first bucket was emptied. The trees at the front of the orchard seemed to have some fruity family members who were destined for a fruit cobbler. My task of securing a ladder to make their wish true ended up taking 10 minutes–the orchard had filled up and others desiring to see if the top fruit might be everything they fantasized it to be. After pushing an older couple off the ladder and telling them peaches were the original forbidden fruit (not really), I wandered back to my friend. The picking finished pretty well with the exception of constantly having to push the would be thieves off or our ladder. (We did pass it on to they guy who asked first.)
As we checked out, I openly admitted to eating a peach while picking. I had picked a peach with a bad spot. The guy who would eventually take over our ladder when we left, told me to open it up and see it was bad in the middle. Once it was opened, I saw the peach, despite its less than perfect complexion, was perfect for quenching my peach appetite. Apparently, the admission of this fact granted me a discount. My friend whose peaches weighed less than mine ending up paying a little more for his box of peaches.

The drive back was similar to the drive to the orchard, but different. My friend can talk to anybody about anything for an almost endless period of time. So, a little drive was barely a challenge for him. We parted knowing the job of blanching the peaches would be something we both would have to do alone.

While driving home, I did cross an overpass full of citizens waging a poster campaign against illegal aliens. I did honk in support. If they knew about the peach orchard and all of the peaches going unpicked, I wonder if they would have found some other way to spend their Saturday afternoon?

Sod Replacement Therapy

As a relocated midwesterner, sod was never much of an issue when there were any problems with the lawn. We knew the rain wasn’t going to be much of an issue, and we sprinkled some grass seed (likely blue grass) down in the spring, and were pretty confident any “naughty lawn” places would grow back in nicely.

In Texas, we do not have this luxury. We need to buy a piece (or pieces)of St Augustine sod (one of really only a couple of choices in lawn greenness in Texas) to fix the bad spots. Due to our winter being extra cold and somewhat dry, it seems the ugly spot ratio was much higher than normal in most lawns this spring. And, as much as we want the HOA award for best yard, we will just have to be satisfied not being the house people say, “as least it is not our yard.”

As I did some of my own sodding this year, these are techniques used by myself and others:

Plugs: This is like one of the pictures above. As I view it, there are two ways to get to effectively perform the “plugs” technique. First, you go back to a healthy part of grass in your back yard. You take up a few hunks–not too many from one spot, but taking a few from here and there. You then transplant these pieces to the less than appealing area–likely the front yard somewhere. Secondly, these “plugs” may come from the dissecting and dismembering of a purchased piece of sod. Somehow, you can’t seem to commit to using a whole piece of sod in a particular area, so you spread out your luck over a larger area with more pieces. Certainly one of them will take off!
Lay in: Although not described above, this method is more an approach than a specific technique. When new sod is placed in your yard, an area is created for it. The old, dead grass is cleaned up and the new piece of sod should fit right in. You may backfill a little once the “sod-space” is removed to account for any low spots, but the goal is to get the new sod as close to the Texas dirt/sand/ants as possible.
Lay on: This approach competes with the “lay in” method. And, maybe “layout” is a better term to describe it. It seems this technique is pretty popular–likely because the LACK of work necessary. If you have a spot with dead grass, there is no problem. Just put the sod right on top of the dead grass. It makes it obvious to all who pass that you have new sod in your lawn, and if anybody wants to bury a body, these kind of lawns are ideal!
Kill it all: This seemed to be less popular, but I did see at least one neighbor who used it. Our yards are laid out with a little grass next to the street, the sidewalk, and then the rest of the front yard. Apparently one neighbor was SO disgusted with his appalling lawn and the ugly glances from those passing his house, he decided it was better to admit full defeat then to try and claim partial victory. It appears he used a weed/grass killer on the whole section between the street and the sidewalk. And, once it all died, He probably had 50 or so pieces of sod that found a new home in his yard. Unfortunately, it appears some of the sod has also chosen to go “brown” rather than stay green. I hope they bounce back before the summer is out—good luck to him!

Irrigation is a key to any sod replacement therapy technique. Due to tweaking of the sprinklers, I hope my sod will claim green as its favorite color for the rest of the summer. If not, we can see if the therapy works better after summers heat has fizzled. Or, we can embrace the cactus and other “lovely” plants that thrive on low moisture OR we can move….

Walking Down Life's Road With Andy