Life

Tongue Twisters: Lost In Translation

As is often the case, something is said and the unexplained synapses takes place. When in a house with 4 teenage girls of three differing nationalities, it is sometimes hard to remember what the catalyst was for the mental belly smacker. Whatever the case, I started reciting the tongue twister “Peter Piper Picked a peck of pickled peppers……”

Following this, it was only logical to ask if they also have tongue twisters in their countries. And, although I expected it, I was a little caught off guard when they recited them. With no ability to determine what syllable belonged to what word, I had no chance of understanding and/or repeating any of the 3 or 4 tongue twisters they rapidly produced. All I could do was stare blankly with my mouth slightly ajar with 100% confidence I could not reproduce ANY of the sounds they had just completed uttering.

Feeling like a failure due to my tongues lack of energy and enthusiasm, the only way to partially redeem myself was asking, “So, what do they mean?” The first Korean tongue twister was something to do with a giraffe with a long neck but due to peer pressure he needed a shorter neck so he accidentally got bariatric surgery instead of neck reduction surgery. The second Korean tongue twister had something to do with two guys who owned the same store or similar stores, but one of them wouldn’t order items from China, so he was having trouble making any profit. (There is a small chance I forgot exactly what the tongue twister was about—very small!) The Chinese one had something to do with a tree that was growing slowly and a panda could not wait on it to grow so he decided to start eating the bamboo. (Also sketchey on the translation of this one.) Regardless of their meanings, I am absolutely certain the English explanation of what they claimed they said was not remotely close to a tongue twister. And, for all I know, they may have been reciting their alphabet or “Mary had a little lamb” (or equivalent)

Why do I seem to take pleasure in distorting reality so? Why do I insist on falsely remembering what exactly happened? Once my age is dismissed and my disposition is adjusted for, I just enjoy making a smile (or hint of a smile) appear on someones face. And, if it has not been noticed, I am certain we have the best exchange students ever. It has been great fun, and we have SO much school year to go. I have asked them both already if their parents will just let them stay with us. Since this seems unlikely, we will try to suck as much culture out of them as we can. Not being greedy, we are offering to fill the newly greatly void with all of the American culture they can handle. Lots of good times await!

Tea For Two

I was very glad when my son could come home this weekend after having been gone for two weeks. He had only completed his first week of “official” school, but it was still quite good to see my second born. While his hair was longer and his beard appeared to be in need of reduction, my brain’s facial recognition software still picked him out rather quickly. And, since he was in our house, even very buggy software would have picked him out.

Besides our normal father/son chatting, our mutual affection for ice tea (specifically black mango) did come up in conversation. So, after the arrived home Thursday night, we planned a couple of tea runs. Although we normally buy a gallon of tea at the local QT, we optioned to buy individual refillable glasses for our first “run”. (It really was not the optimal way to buy the tea. After he left for school, I decided to free up the freezer space and stop filling it with two pitchers of tea-one our homemade-decaf-black-mango AND one from QT with their specially caffeine, sweetened version of the same. The decaf version was maintained in his absence, but the QT version got pulled. When it was pulled, the lid “somehow” disappeared, making its discounted refilling an impossibility.) Our first run provided a full 54 oz each of the sweetened beverage (we mix our tea, so it is not ALL sweet or all NOT sweet) We were happy and quenched.

When Saturdays “run” needed to be done, I knew we would likely also need to make a Sunday run to give him tea for the drive back to school. As my cheapskate took control, I searched for a gallon jug I could use and fill. I was rewarded by a milk jug full of water. The jug had previously been in our freezer taking up space–it was my idea so I thought the freezer was fuller than it really was and I would stop buying so much “stuff”. My wife determined this wish was not important, and took it out anyways. After giving the jug a quick bath in bleach and finding a lid that “sorta” fit on top, we ran to QT.

As we did our pre-filling taste test to confirm the tea was worth the expense, we filled our jug. There may have been a little leaking while we were filling the jug. This was merely attributed to Jeff being a little sloppy filling it up. Once we starting walking to the front to pay for it, our prognosis became much more dire. Our patient was “bleeding” out and needed a tourniquet or some other form of immediate first aid, or she might not make it home. Fortunately, a few napkins and a few spills as the tea sloshed over the car’s floor mat allowed us to arrive home w/ only a 20-25% or so loss. As soon as the car was in the garage, I rushed in to get 2 large cups to pour off the tea before it continued to flow out through our very leaky container.

Despite the need to soak up the moisture on the front passenger side, the leaving the floor mats on the driveway to drive out, and the loss of tea, I really enjoyed myself! I had a little adventure with my son. He saw dad didn’t get rattled by a small little thing like a leaky jug. And, most importantly, we did something together that we can refer back to in a few years that will start with, “I remember when…..”

Exchange Personalities

Having survived my first weekend with our exchange students, their personalities are starting to become more clear. The honeymoon is not yet over officially–they are still acting very polite and are very joyful. As their sleep becomes more normalized, their personalities also become more clear….

Our Korean student has some very clear traits:

She is very enthusiastic and joyful. She can make peeling a peach or cutting a melon into pieces a great deal of fun. She says “great” often, and for her, I think it is.
Mosquitoes seem to like her. I teased her and told her, “When the mosquitoes knew we were going to get exchange students, they requested someone from Korea. Koreans are extra-sweet!”
She is having a little more trouble adjusting to the time change. She took another nap today of about 2 hours. I don’t think her adjustment is going as well OR all of the language translation going on inside her head is taking its toll.
She absolutely loves fruit. She is adventuresome in trying new food. And, I don’t think we have offered them anything to eat yet that they have not liked. (We made grilled chicken on the grill tonight. There were a couple of spots with darker grill marks. Both of the students cut these off, but ate all of the rest of it.)
She never had cantaloupe before coming to the US. She now loves it! Our Chinese students said Chinese cantaloupe-ish melons are bigger and not as sweet. And, honey dew melons are smaller than US honey dews.
We joked with her tonight. She dislikes the bright sunlight. And, since it was cloudy the past two days, we suggested she prayed for the clouds and the rain so she wouldn’t have to deal with them. She really doesn’t realize how lucky she was to experience a rainy day!

Our Chinese student is similar but different:

Although both of our students seem to grasp the English language at a pretty good level, our Chinese student seems to do it at a slightly higher level. Both of them grasp many new concepts well, but our Chinese student seems to be able to make greater leaps during conversations.
She loves to fold paper into various designs. She labored today for a considerable period of time trying to make a paper rose. She worked on it for over an hour. She is certainly capable of pretty good concentration.
On her cellphone/Itouch or what it is, she has a translation program. If we are talking and she can’t think of an English word, she does a search on it to try and keep the conversation moving. It has helped numerous times!
She was not planning on doing cross-country, but her mother told her she needs to exercise. She may only run/walk a couple of times per week. I believe Asian cultures typically respect their elders quite a bit. It is certainly the case with her. (Our Korean student also seems to have very good relationships with her parents.)
We had sweet potatoes for supper tonight. She claims the “meat” in sweet potatoes in China is purple. The Korean student claims the outside is purple and the inside is yellow.
It only took 3 days to get them into the pool. I believe they wished they would have braved it sooner. Where our Chinese student took the water temperature calmly, our Korean student had to talk her way in….
It was our first time to take them to Sonic tonight for a half-price milk shake. Our Chinese student remained strong and only sampled everyones. Our Korean student seems almost guaranteed to gain some weight–she finds it hard to say “no” to our treats.
I think she has a very good relationship with her father. She caught me individually a couple of times for extended conversations. She is a fine young lady!

As we continue to observe and respond to the small curves/hiccups that now fill our life, we are grateful. I try to keep my mind active with bits of sass doled out to all available family members. The experience of having exchange students allows me brain to operate on overdrive. My sass potential has gone up! My linking of jokes to other comments and events over the last 4 days has made my brain feel years younger! As school prepares to start in a couple of days, I know I will have less interaction with the girls. I think it will be fine. The synapses will keep firing even without a full day of exposure. Truly grateful we made the decision to open our home to two fine young ladies who are so eager to share and absorb.

Pre-Exchange Student Jitters

Today my life will begin a 10 month (or so) period of adjusting. No, I am not undergoing any medical procedures. And, I am not starting a new job. On Thursday, I will become an “exchange dad”.

In the past, our family has done fostering. (Foster kids in the house = foster dad.) In this role, I had some ups and downs. The kids the county brought into our house and gave us the opportunity to parent had a variety of challenges. None of those challenges are expected with these two. The “big” issue is going to be cultural. We are going to have to try and “Americanize” them while allowing ourselves to me slightly converted to their cultures. (The “slight” may vary from individual to individual household member, but we are pretty sure they will be rubbing off on us a little…)

Since being assigned the two girls, we have been sending a couple of emails back and forth every week. We know about their families (one girl has a “little father”–her father’s twin brother) and we have some idea what they may be interested in once they get here. We know one is a Christian and one has no affiliation. We know their age, country of origin, and birthdays. All of this really tells us nothing about how we might interact with them. Yes, emails can give you a little information. An email will not tell you if it took them 1/2 hour to write a few lines as they translated from their foreign language; it won’t tell you if they were smiling when they wrote it, or how anxious they were about leaving their native culture for a few months.

This is where I come in as the exchange dad. My kids will tell you (as will many of their friends)…I am a little quirky. If my kids are any indication, I must be on the “right” side of quirky. As I have enjoyed the quizzical looks on my kids faces as I have tried to invite them into some brain aerobics, I look forward to doing the same with the exchange students. As their English skills grow, I look forward to continuing to stretch their grasp of the language. I realize I need to have mercy on them. As those who look cross-eyed are warned “they may stay that way”, if they look quizzical too long, I have to be concerned their faces might also “stay that way” if there brain is stretched beyond is normal elasticity.

Unfortunately, my kids are used to all of my old, stale jokes. Although they do ask me to repeat them at certain intervals or act disappointed if I fail to attempt a fresh delivery of the “overplayed” material, I need a new audience. Reworking my dad material for a new set of kids w/ a different cultural background is a a challenge I am anxious to take on. There is a chance I may fail and find out my humor and “dadness” don’t cross cultural boundaries. The emails already exchanged with them make me think this will not be the case…. If I need to, I will develop some new material and give my old (nearly half century old) brain a project for the coming year. Looking forward to what stretch marks I have to show when the school year draws to a close!

The Blackened Fish Experiment

We have a side by side freezer as part of our indoor refrigerator. And, we also have an outdoor refrigerator. It is similar, but the freezer is on top. (When you have a few kids, and like to make a Sams run a couple times a month, you need more frig space. We used to put an extra carton of milk in it, but it seems our milk drinking days are mostly in our past…) Also, we have a top-opening freezer (I believe they are called a “chest” freezer). Quite a bit of space including a couple baskets at the top to make it very easy to bury items at the bottom. In a recent pseudo-defrosting party, we found meat and other items living on borrowed time. And, if too borrowed, they defrosted in a container with a plastic liner–they were not alone.

We recently committed to clean out our freezers for a couple of reasons. Beyond the obvious, “They were full.”, they also needed to make a little room for items we know we will be able to rotate through much more quickly. As we anticipate the arrival of our TWO foreign exchange students in three weeks, we want to make sure we have the necessary room to stock a few items that will especially tantalize their Asian taste buds. (At Whole Foods the other night, my bio-girls went crazy over all of the options available. When the house has 4 teenage girls, the glee will probably be almost tangible.) And, with the boys shifting into their fall schedules (whether commuting to school or living at a campus in a different state), the “big” eaters will soon be off the radar when it comes to planning most meals. (With their work schedule, their lack of attending meals has been a large cause of the accumulation of warmups. The thinning of the stock is really just a natural progression as our household evolves toward the goal of “empty-nesters”. [an eventuality, but a few years yet]).

As the freezers have been purged, some whacky meal combos have taken place. Last night it was sausage and frozen waffles. Not whacky you say? I made a peanut butter and jelly waffle sandwich. My daughters used Nutella, cashew butter, and whatever else we had in the house that was spreadable. But, I digress…. As an added bonus, we needed to clear out some dieting items accumulated in the freezer by my wife. (The turkey burgers are not bad, but they will NEVER be hamburgers.) We were fortunate to stumble upon a 2 pound bag of tilapia my wife had purchased. Since our meat typically had feet when it was alive, we were not sure how to prepare this fish. Not wanting to be boring, but not being excessively ambitious led us to the recipe on the tilapia package. Since “blackened” sounded interesting and the recipe was for 1 pound, we decided to double the recipe and “blacken” the whole package.

As we mixed the blackening rub together, it was obvious the fish was going to have some flavor! After spreading the rub on the fish and letting it sit for awhile before cooking, we attempted to perform the cooking side of the things. Again, another opportunity to improve on the NEXT visit to the “blackened” zone. It stuck, and it probably had more oil in it than was necessary, but a paper towel on the serving plate, and we were mostly good. During the meal, most of the reviews were okay. “Too hot” was a pretty typical response. Due to guilt for over spicing the fish and a an occasional need to punish my stomach for its failures of the past, I ate numerous portions. As the meal ended, 3 fillets were left on the plate.

It is here where the story become most interesting to me. I like to mix and match warmups. And, when able, I bribe and reward to get rid of warmups. Since previous “hot” meals turned into tame little pussycats when the flavors chilled for a night, I was hoping the fish had endured a similar fate. Never having tried them, but with an ample inventory of tortillas available, we embarked on a new pseudo-Mexican journey. (In my mind, if it has a tortilla, it is Mexican) Thankfully, the journey was a good one. The tamed tilapia was nearly perfect for a taco. I believe we through a little chipotle ranch and lettuce on the taco, too. The fish was the star! My only regret was eating as much fish as I did the night before–my daughters made me share the warmup.

All explanations aside, it would appear serendipity is not dead. What began as “Operation Make Space”, has had some highlights. The project continues. Fortunately, our taste buds have gotten a few pleasant surprise along the way. If we are lucky, they will hang in until the operation closes around Labor Day.

Just Peachy

Since the tradition started last year, I felt obligated to do my part to keep the tradition alive. With last years attendees out of town for my father-in-laws birthday in North Carolina, the mantle fell upon me to fetch the peaches for the eventual syrup and jam and associated mess.

My morning did not start out so that the rendezvous point would be easily achieved. My son (the original and younger of the Chick-Fil-A boys) needed to be at work at 9:00. The meeting point was 25 or more minutes away from the restaurant. (This was assuming good traffic and none of the dreaded “special weekend construction projects”.) After picking up cash from the ATM (they don’t take cards at the orchard), I got him to work. The traffic was very cooperative, but not too cooperative. I pulled into the Cracker Barrel at about 9:25. My friend is not know for being early. In fact, rarely does he ever arrive early. If not for his very disciplined spouse, he would have an even worse reputation. A quick text to him, gave me the expected and undesired response:

Me: Here
Friend: On the way
Me: How long?
Friend: Well, about 20-30 minutes or so.

Since he lives about half an hour away, it was clear what happened.

I am known to go almost nowhere without my book. Considering the company I keep, this does keep me from going crazy. Fortunately, he did arrive within his allotted time. He had to transfer water jugs to my car (we wanted to have room for the peaches). I grabbed my boots and hopped in his car. The car we were blocking in was patience with us as we loaded up and moved out.

The driving conversation to the orchard was light. We were driving up 35 heading to Oklahoma. My daughters have attended quite a few cross country meets up this way. My friend encouraged me to “lie” to him as to when he should arrive at all future meetings to try and compensate for his inability to properly plan his time. I poo-pooed the idea, but did not entirely dismiss it.

We eventually drove off the main road with a country kind of zig-zagging toward the Red River Peach Orchard. Besides many scrap yards and other businesses that often accumulate in somewhat rundown areas, we met these guys by the road.

By the time we arrived at the orchard, it was nearly 11:00. The cool weather was supposed to turn hot later. Since we went north and it was still early in the day, we hoped to have our buckets full before the day got too much older. Lots of things to see there. These are the things that stood out:

As soon as I got there, I went to the bathroom. The bathroom was fine. After washing my hands, the towel was a shared hand towel. And, tucked in where the towel was hooked was a spider nearly 3 inches across (not the body, but from leg to leg). He/she scurried up the wall. They were willing to share. Being a country boy, I dried my hands and felt inclined to warn the Asian lady w/ child who followed me in the line.
We received buckets to put our peaches into. They were not the cleanest things. My only real instruction was if you fill the bucket, it will be about 15 lbs. Having been told to get 30 lbs, the math worked out pretty easily. Once both my friend and I had our buckets, we went straight back even though we were told the pickings might be a little better behind where we parked. As we wandered into the peach trees, my friend who had been along when the tradition began the prior year commented on how the peaches appeared quite a bit smaller. The “lack of pruning” theory was proposed by me. We later found out the drought was the largest part of the problem.
SOOOOO many peaches on the ground. We understood we were not part of the “early pickers”. In fact due to our schedule, the tradition would have died if I have not able to go on this particular weekend. Whether the peaches fell directly to the ground from being overly ripe OR they were picked and discarded after a bad spot or worm hole was found OR they were picked and found to be not quite ripe enough to meet the pickers needs, the accumulation of peaches was fermenting very nicely. (Not being much for alcohol, I did not enjoy the smell.) The smell was so pervasive, it made the whole experience quite a bit less enjoyable. Whether it was whole peaches or peaches trampled under many different feet, the smell will be one of the first things I will think of when preparing for my next visit to the orchard.
I am not sure if the phenomenon was worse this year than other years (the owner assured me it happens to some extent every year). Nearly every tree had branches snapped off from the trunk. A few trees were completely leveled. None of their branches exceeded 3-4 feet in height. All of them completely snapped off from the base. The peaches remaining on the branches may have still been ripening. I chose to pick fruit more solidly plugged into the mother tree.
A.) The wildlife did find its need to be orchard dwellers, too. (bird, hoppers, spiders, worm laying bugs) The grasshoppers were hard to miss every step within the knee high grass disrupted some gorging or other malevolent intent. The well-fed jumpers were found covering trees and gnawing annoyingly on many beautiful peaches just as if they were doing that licking techniques older brothers do as they claimed their pieces of chicken etc. Once the “mark” was noticed, I know I wouldn’t pick them. There were more than one broken branch covered in grasshoppers. Other than the obvious consuming of leaves and marking the fruit, their congregating by the dozens made no sense to me. (Are they telling some gossip or just ridiculing the orchard owners for letting them so dominate the place?) A person I spoke to the other morning said chickens are good to have around when the grasshoppers are so thick. Not sure how all of those exoskeletons would have affected the eggs…..a little extra bounce in the yolk…??? B.) The birds were not being the natural predators they should have been! Yes, chickens could have been imported. The dining was plentiful, but the diners were few. There was one lonely dove who was being a good mom to whatever she sat upon. C.) Many of the bugs were assumed to be present. It was only in the later stages there presence was fully felt. Many peaches appeared perfect until the little hole was noticed in the otherwise nearly perfect complexion. In most cases, these nearly sinless tree spawn were tossed into the fermentation basin. Of those that made it into bucket and eventually home, any mercy shed on the imperfect fruit was regretted. In many cases the pit had a fine-wiggly friend tickling the inside of the peach’s inner pit-iness.
As we walked into the orchard of peach, our eyes were most immediately drawn to the fruits at eye level. As our eye filters became better capable at zeroing in on the “better” rather than the “good”, we realized much of the good was not going to find admittance into our buckets without a little help. Assuming my telekinetic skills were not choosing this moment to reveal themselves to me, it looked like a ladder or climbing skills were going to be necessary. (Based on many of the trees inability to hold securely to their limbs, climbing seemed to be a decision of last resort.) My friend mentioned the orchard last year seemed to have multiple ladders running around. (If this tradition continues next year, the phrase “this year” needs to be much more present. Based on what I experienced this year, a repeat next year will make picking peaches from a bin at a grocery store a much more rewarding experience.) As we got to the back corner of the orchard, a few ladders (maybe 3?) were hidden in the branches of a few of the trees. As we decided which trees to set the ladders up under, the closer we got to the trees, the more difficult it was to find a location where the “top hangers” could be collected. Once the ladder was placed and the obligatory couple of peaches were sacrificed to the fermentation pit by the ladders careless movement, we climbed the ladder and looked at the fruit at eye level. Somehow many of the succulent orbs of flavor became much less desirable treasures when our hands met them. Of course, much of the fruit was deemed at minimum good, and it took up residence in our buckets. The most difficult challenge was claiming a ladder after our first bucket was emptied. The trees at the front of the orchard seemed to have some fruity family members who were destined for a fruit cobbler. My task of securing a ladder to make their wish true ended up taking 10 minutes–the orchard had filled up and others desiring to see if the top fruit might be everything they fantasized it to be. After pushing an older couple off the ladder and telling them peaches were the original forbidden fruit (not really), I wandered back to my friend. The picking finished pretty well with the exception of constantly having to push the would be thieves off or our ladder. (We did pass it on to they guy who asked first.)
As we checked out, I openly admitted to eating a peach while picking. I had picked a peach with a bad spot. The guy who would eventually take over our ladder when we left, told me to open it up and see it was bad in the middle. Once it was opened, I saw the peach, despite its less than perfect complexion, was perfect for quenching my peach appetite. Apparently, the admission of this fact granted me a discount. My friend whose peaches weighed less than mine ending up paying a little more for his box of peaches.

The drive back was similar to the drive to the orchard, but different. My friend can talk to anybody about anything for an almost endless period of time. So, a little drive was barely a challenge for him. We parted knowing the job of blanching the peaches would be something we both would have to do alone.

While driving home, I did cross an overpass full of citizens waging a poster campaign against illegal aliens. I did honk in support. If they knew about the peach orchard and all of the peaches going unpicked, I wonder if they would have found some other way to spend their Saturday afternoon?

Sod Replacement Therapy

As a relocated midwesterner, sod was never much of an issue when there were any problems with the lawn. We knew the rain wasn’t going to be much of an issue, and we sprinkled some grass seed (likely blue grass) down in the spring, and were pretty confident any “naughty lawn” places would grow back in nicely.

In Texas, we do not have this luxury. We need to buy a piece (or pieces)of St Augustine sod (one of really only a couple of choices in lawn greenness in Texas) to fix the bad spots. Due to our winter being extra cold and somewhat dry, it seems the ugly spot ratio was much higher than normal in most lawns this spring. And, as much as we want the HOA award for best yard, we will just have to be satisfied not being the house people say, “as least it is not our yard.”

As I did some of my own sodding this year, these are techniques used by myself and others:

Plugs: This is like one of the pictures above. As I view it, there are two ways to get to effectively perform the “plugs” technique. First, you go back to a healthy part of grass in your back yard. You take up a few hunks–not too many from one spot, but taking a few from here and there. You then transplant these pieces to the less than appealing area–likely the front yard somewhere. Secondly, these “plugs” may come from the dissecting and dismembering of a purchased piece of sod. Somehow, you can’t seem to commit to using a whole piece of sod in a particular area, so you spread out your luck over a larger area with more pieces. Certainly one of them will take off!
Lay in: Although not described above, this method is more an approach than a specific technique. When new sod is placed in your yard, an area is created for it. The old, dead grass is cleaned up and the new piece of sod should fit right in. You may backfill a little once the “sod-space” is removed to account for any low spots, but the goal is to get the new sod as close to the Texas dirt/sand/ants as possible.
Lay on: This approach competes with the “lay in” method. And, maybe “layout” is a better term to describe it. It seems this technique is pretty popular–likely because the LACK of work necessary. If you have a spot with dead grass, there is no problem. Just put the sod right on top of the dead grass. It makes it obvious to all who pass that you have new sod in your lawn, and if anybody wants to bury a body, these kind of lawns are ideal!
Kill it all: This seemed to be less popular, but I did see at least one neighbor who used it. Our yards are laid out with a little grass next to the street, the sidewalk, and then the rest of the front yard. Apparently one neighbor was SO disgusted with his appalling lawn and the ugly glances from those passing his house, he decided it was better to admit full defeat then to try and claim partial victory. It appears he used a weed/grass killer on the whole section between the street and the sidewalk. And, once it all died, He probably had 50 or so pieces of sod that found a new home in his yard. Unfortunately, it appears some of the sod has also chosen to go “brown” rather than stay green. I hope they bounce back before the summer is out—good luck to him!

Irrigation is a key to any sod replacement therapy technique. Due to tweaking of the sprinklers, I hope my sod will claim green as its favorite color for the rest of the summer. If not, we can see if the therapy works better after summers heat has fizzled. Or, we can embrace the cactus and other “lovely” plants that thrive on low moisture OR we can move….

Double Red Day

It has been awhile since I made a donation of my precious blood. In Texas, it is Carter Bloodcare. (In Ohio, it used to be the Red Cross. Different name – same job. ) After receiving a few emails and seeing an article in the paper regarding low blood supplies, I decided to rescind my “donoring” hiatus. (When a 2:00 apt becomes 3:00 before they turn on the vampire vacuum cleaner and the double red treatment takes 29 minutes to run its cycle, the whole process takes [including driving there] over 2 hours.) Temporarily, the rescission made me feel good. I was glad I could get back on the horse and give up a pint for the greater good.

Then, I arrived at the donor center. The only good thing (I thought) I had done was making an apt. One couple ahead of me were “walk-ins”, so I did get to jump in front of them. As I read the literature, got screened (this is where they check your blood pressure, pulse, and [I think] red blood cell count. During this process, many questions are asked regarding your name and address and date of birth. All of this info is good to know, but when this question continues as I interact with others, my flippant, tongue-biting self is anxious to emerge.) It would seem if you are American who isn’t gay (past or present), doesn’t do drugs or have a tattoo or pay for companionship, doesn’t travel much, and doesn’t have any weird diseases that most people can’t pronounce or don’t know what ailment is, you are probably okay to give. So, I was soon moving on to the “chair”.

The people who work with you are always very nice (most of the time they really are). They realize they rely on donors who volunteer their time to contribute vital fluids in a “pay-it-forward” type of gesture. After getting on the chair this time, these are some things I did/said/thought:

When asked if I was ready to get the needle poked into my arm…”It’s what I came for.”
When asked to confirm my height, I stated, “I was about 6 feet when I came in here. All of these redundant questions are draining my of all my energy, so I am probably shorter now.” (Some of this is not true.)
Now, because they no longer have saline solution {there is a shortage- who knew?}, they allow the donors to have milk and cookies or red velvet cupcakes in the donor area. (Not necessary all of these things, but waiting to get to the canteen area is waiting too long. They start your snack before you give so your body can kick up the blood production before you get out of the chair. Wow, why did it take them so long to come up with this one!
The guy kept telling me to squeeze and hold it. This is great, but prior to him poking me with the needle and the draining that followed, I had nothing to squeeze. (They used to provide foamy things to squeeze on. Apparently, somebody bled on them once in a third world country, so they cannot provide them again with out severe liability issues. ) After my insistent nagging, he did provide a couple of paper towels wrapped in tape. (We can get a man to the moon, but…..) So, every 1- to 15 seconds, my left hand squeezed on the towels. (If you rightly assumed the needle was in my left arm, you get extra points for knowing how the system really works.)
He expressed to me his concern and sincere desire to get the blood flowing as quickly as possible. I appreciated his goals, but being short handed was why I made the apt. It all felt very deja vu-ish….
He did compliment me when I mentioned the newspaper story about supply being down. I let him think I was a truly good person and the article had been the sole factor that allowed us to be getting all chummy. I can’t help it the truth occasionally makes my halo visible to more people than normal. 😉
The guy who did not have an apt and whom I bumped turned out to be done only about 5 minutes after me. I felt badly he was bumped for me and I felt even more badly that he was bumped and I looked like a heel so I could be done just 5 minutes before him. He didn’t schedule an apt. He walked in out of the goodness of this heart. (His wife also gave!) He deserve far more accolades than I do.
The guy who took care of my procedure was a trainer. He has to be in the field a couple of days per month to continue to be a card carrying blood sucker. Otherwise, he is in the special place where the vampire go to learn their trade. He did warn me if I ever go in there again I may want to avoid him. Usually, he has some immature vampires following him around. They don’t have their final teeth yet. (I guess they have to molt or something a couple of times to get their official teeth that make they highly effective. ) I think I have had some of those folks unsupervised in the past…
When giving “double red”, they pump your blood out, run it through a centrifuge, do some funky stuff with your white blood cells, and then send the oxygen-bearing wonder back into your body. (I believe the oxygen bearing stuff is what is removed in my case.) When they take it, it is called a “draw”. After the centrifuge gets your blood all dizzy, the blood is sent back to you and called a “return”. In the past, the “returns” have been known to cause a coppery taste to appear in my mouth. To combat this they give you some Tums or some other calcium chewable tablet. When “they” give it to you, they need to do LOTS of paperwork. So, I bring my own, and hope they don’t think I am doping up during the procedure. I did let my guy know today. If I was to be seen as slightly angelic, I didn’t want to keep any secrets from him. 😉

I did refuse to schedule my next apt. The next few months have many variables. But, since it is double red, you can really only do it 3 or 4 times a year. If I chose to schedule, it would have been on November 13th. Their offer of giving them an early Christmas present was pretty tempting, but I had to turn them down.

I don’t believe I have matured much since last I gave. I was truly irritated by how the process drug out. Sometimes, things need to be done despite the restraint you need to exercise. This is one of those things I should get past my issues and participate in again, and again and again….

Grasshopper Frenzy

As the video shows, I failed miserably as a grasshopper whisperer at the peach orchard.

Whole Foods Diversion

With the nice cool weather, came a bit of boredom. The great outdoors which is a typical playground for my kids (more so my younger kids, but mostly all of them) failed miserably in providing some of the entertainment they needed. So, around dinner time with limited prospects for excitement before bedtime. (This is discounting the viewing of the troubled and uneducated southerners found on “Honey Boo Boo”.) we went on a very limited adventure with the simple goal of getting Chinese food. To make sure no one would be bored while waiting for our food, we all grabbed our books.

After wandering through a couple of speed traps, we made a right at the light as we neared our most tastebud-tested Texas Chinese restaurant. (My Ohio Chinese restaurant has still had quite a few more visits. While in Ohio, we had not yet discovered texmex or guac.) But, just north of the restaurant (the insides of which are “dive-like”, so our meal was to go), we realized the Whole Foods we had watched transform the old strip mall was finally open. And, since distraction was the purpose of our adventure, we promptly found a parking space with our name on it. As we walked in, the girls are getting excited. The produce greets us as we enter the door. The purple pepper (my oldest daughter claims she had a dream about one the other night) found its way into the cart, as well as a couple of pluots. As we wondered the bulk foods bins, they started to drool and throw their previous favorite bulk food store under the bus. (Whole Foods did strike us as a cross between Trader Joes and Sprouts.) They liked the variety available, the in-house bakery, and the quirkiness of some of the stocked items. They made a few comparisons to Sprouts, but I think they were able to realize both stores had their strengths. The wood burning stove with pizzas on display at the front of the store/restaurant also left a very positive feeling. After finding out during checkout the store had opened the previous week, we paid our bill. I am sure the girls will lure me back for another visit. And, when we go, they will have a list and not just impulse shopping.

As we piled back into the car and stowed our bag of groceries, I took full advantage of the rather lengthy strip mall. I wondered through the hole parking lot to get to our dinner. I took a quick jog on a side street and avoided the main road as I went into the back entrance of the purveyors of General Tso’s Chicken. (RiceKing) The parking lot was sparse, empty in fact. And, the locked door confirmed what we feared: if we did Chinese tonight, it would be trying out the wok skills of someone new. We less enthusiastically took our seats as we resumed our dinner adventure. I thought of another Chinese place that was too far away. The girls seemed okay with whatever–they had trail mix and some funky whole grain graham crackers to focus their minds on. As we neared Dad’s favorite “default” restaurant of choice, we look to the left in a different strip mall and saw what “could” be out previously dismissed producers of wok-wonders. The ONE car in the parking lot did not bode well, but the pangs of hunger drove us to the front door. After a few seconds, we were greeted by an Asian gentlemen who immediately apologized for his inability to serve us. It went something like this…(to properly picture, be wearing no glasses and squint to the point where you cannot see. When repeating his statements, be very animated around the mouth-overly accentuating the corners of the mouth.)

“I so sorry we cannot serve you food. Many people miss our food very much. We be open very soon. Two weeks we be open. (holding up two fingers) Please come back then. We very happy make food for you.”

We likely will be back. His command of the wok is better than his command of English. And, his command of English is far better than my command of Chinese (if that is his native tongue–definitely Asian) The girls and I again found our seats. Before we pulled out and headed to Chick-Fil-A, I had to do a poor impression of our would be restaurant host. I love that the girls will laugh at my efforts.

We “settled” for chicken sandwiches and a shared large waffle fry. My girls are easy to please. They drink water, and do their best to keep the bill down. I will miss them the next few days as my wife works her 80 hours of birthday for her dad. (She took bells in her checked in bag to play happy birthday on.) I like a new adventure, but I like it especially when I can share it with a couple of young ladies I can affectionately call “my girls”.

Walking Down Life's Road With Andy