Family

Blessed Eggs

As the “alarm clock” (My mother calling from a time zone to the east) went off this morning, the day began. With everyone needing to be out of the house by 10:00 (or so I thought), the coffee got going and the breakfast options were decided.

I had boring toast. Even though it was some special new flavor from the discount bakery, it worked well with peanut butter, so I was content. My wife pulled out the eggs to get her diet its necessary protein fix. I wrongly assumed the eggs were for her, when she had already decided they were for my son. As my son (the one heading to a day of food prep at Chick Fil A) watches my wife make his eggs for his breakfast this morning, I scold him for letting her do it.

He casually replies, "I am making the toast."
Unfazed, I reply, "I could make toast in a body cast."

My son and I laugh. My wife glares. My daughters look annoyed as they turn up the volume and continue watching the DVRed “Once Upon A Time.” As my sons scrambled eggs are plated with toast on the side, my wife finishes the carton with the eggs that will serve as her breakfast. Before putting the egg carton in the trash, she glances on the inside lid. She is rewarded with a bit of inspiration.

Psalms 118:24 This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Prior to realizing this message was inside the carton, I was just glad to get eggs at $0.79 a dozen from Aldi’s . (Below cost, but it certainly sucks me in the door.) Now that I know this message is there, I think I will smile a little bigger knowing somebody, somewhere cares enough about my eggs and my day to sneak in a bit of encouragement. If an egg carton can encourage, what can I do to encourage the people I interact with today?

My Son, The Network Marketer

My son gave me a call yesterday afternoon. He let me know he would be late coming home. He was going with his friend to an “opportunity meeting” of a particular network marketing company. He assured me he would not “get in”, and we left it at that.

A few hours later, right before the meeting was going to start (I can only guess his friend was really talking up this opportunity before the meeting), we had a text conversation that went something like this:

Son: I think I am going to sign up. I can make my money back quick.
Me: Please don’t!
Son: Why not?
Me: It is your money, but I will not support you unless we talk about it first. Your
friend makes money when you get in. I discourage this highly!

He then went “dark” for a couple of hours. He had signed up for this “great” opportunity. Unfortunately, he seemed to be following in my footsteps:

In my early 20s, I did join Amway. (My brother joined first. I just followed him along to the meetings and the events.) It was a social outlet. I didn’t have the conviction to sell the product. I bought a few items, but always seemed to be buying things I didn’t need to keep up my “points”. I used the excuse I was too young when it came to contacting “successful” people. I did sponsor a few, but either I was not very good at it, OR they were not really that interested. If I had the chance to talk to my son first, I would have told him about this. Maybe it would have changed his actions.
In my 30s, a friend joined Shaklee. He was really sold on a couple products they had available. (I believe they were for air filtration.) I made no effort to build a Shaklee business by getting my friends in. I advertised in the local “suburban” newspapers and tried to sell the product. I forgot how long I did this, but I don’t believe I got one phone call. If my son wanted some of my thoughts on network marketing, I would let him know that despite any claims he may have heard or who endorses the company, the product does NOT sell itself.
In my 40s, I signed up with Ignite. They sell energy and gas in a few southern and north eastern states. They started in Texas (where I live now). So, although Texas is a big state, there are many companies that resell electricity in Texas. Although I believe Ignite/Stream has a quality product, there are other choices. If you are shopping price only, they are probably not your cheapest choice. But, they will be there tomorrow. Within the next couple of months, Ignite will also offer cellular services. They are not the only company or the first company to provide wireless service through a network marketing organization. If someone buys a service “product” from me, it is either because I was first to ask OR they are related to me. Selling a utility is more than just the product-you are also depending on their customer service and support. Many people are hesitant to switch providers for services/utilities they rely on. Some will, but some will refuse. Since my sons new network marketing company sells services, I would have been happy to explain this to him before he paid his substantial membership fee.

Will his money be wasted? I doubt it. I hope he can develop a business and be successful at it. (I am NOT negative network marketing, but I am aware of the statistics and facts.) If he does not have the success he thought he signed up for, then losing a little money in pursuit of a dream-no matter how sincere-is not such a bad thing. We can hope our kids will come to us and seek our feedback on many thing ESPECIALLY things we have already gone through. We can also hope they attend college for 4 years with straight A’s and get the perfect degree before marrying their perfect spouse and before having their perfect little house full of kids.

If raising kids had a formula that guaranteed each kid would clear life hurdles perfectly when the equation was completed, the government would legislate it. (Of course, this would guarantee the perfect formula would still fail.) Despite my excessive blabberings/encouragements/rants/stale-jokes and sermonettes, I continue to have a number of experiences my kids haven’t brushed up against yet. When I am not volunteering “guidance”, I am listening for a dad’s favorite question, “What do you think, dad?”

Courting An Old Friend

I don’t know if I truly have fewer friends now then I did when I was younger. (I am certain I see them less often.) I have very good relationships with my kids, so that is likely where the focus of my friendliness has been directed. However, as the kids get older and I get glimpses into what the crib/nest/home will look like when it is just my wife and I consistently sitting down at dinner together (my wife and I do get along well so it is not very disturbing), I start wondering who will be in my “friend circle” when the kids are all out stretching their early adult wings. And, is at this point I consider the “courting” of an old friend…

This specific friend and I have known each other for over 40 years. It is no exaggeration to say we were very good friends back in “the day”. We both attended a small Christian school together for most of elementary school. And, while we went to different high schools, we usually saw each other once a month or so. When it came time to go to college, we both joined the National Guard and went through Basic Training together. (The tuition reimbursement was the reason I served our country – sad I know.) Due to different health issues, neither of us finished our obligation, but both did make the effort to serve. As we moved into early adulthood, we developed different interest and different friends. While I dated less often, I became engaged and married first (he was in the wedding). My friend was better looking then me. He wanted to make sure he didn’t miss the right gal when she came along. So, he made it through his 20’s without getting married.

When our 30’s rolled around, my wife and I were having kids. He came to visit a few times, but the relationship was certainly changing. Where I had been fortunate to marry a woman with a career that far exceeded my potential, he continued to work hard and not get any great breaks. I am sure I may have lacked sensitivity sometimes. I am sure I said some things that may have been taken much more personally than they were intended. I am sure life’s experiences have made me a better person than I was then.

In our 40’s, my wife and I did foster care. We had quite a few different kids in our house. And, if our friends didn’t have kids and didn’t like lots of kids, they were even less frequent visitors than they were in our 30’s. Our kids grew and stayed active in soccer or gymnastics or whatever other activity was appropriate for young girls and boys. The last half of my 40’s was spent in Texas, so social ties from my previous life were even scarcer.

With the arrival of a new decade and a new set of life’s events, I wonder if our friendship can still find enough mutual energy to be revived? After getting your number a few months ago, it took me multiple months to text you. When the text sat idle for a couple weeks, I figured I had the wrong number or there was no mutual interest. After your eventual reply, I find you now have a Facebook account. It doesn’t look like you have changed much at all!

Truly, I am not sure if friendship revival is a likely outcome. While I selfishly crave the sincere compliment of a very old friend and the memories of the good old days that would unavoidably occur, I am concerned that his emerging out of the time machine into my life anew might be better in the virtual than the reality. LOTS of time has past and LOTS of experiences have been lived and forgotten. We are no longer the same people. Assembling the puzzle pieces of our previously shared lives and connecting them to our present lives might be more challenging than either one of us has the energy to expend.

If we don’t ever really reconnect, I wish you the best.

Nicknames For Naughty Children

After seeing all of the recent Christmas decorations at nearly every retail location and reading or hearing what stores will be open what hours on Thanksgiving day, it would only seem to be appropriate to have a Christmas post. Not wanting to follow common convention, I have only used it as a springboard rather than as a commentary on commercialization…

As my kids grew to have personalities, they also grew to have unique ways to go against the system of rules, both written and unwritten, that allowed our household to function, As part of this, each child had a unique pressure point we would ocassionally have to push to help them remember those rules and the importance of obeying the one responsible for implementing and overseeing whether they were adhered to the rules (i.e. the parent). (By definition, some household rules may be “stupid”, but stupid parents have been making the same stupid rules for so long, that the stupidity of the rules has become so ingrained it is now thought to be wise.) Each child required a different pressure point to encourage their cooperation in our mutual journey through these “rule-heavy” years of the “single digits”. (With our kids, the adolescent years have seemed much easier when a slightly firm hand was used while they were younger.) I think the “naughty names’ was most effective on my oldest daughter, but in the spirit of fairness, all of them were occasionally forced to be recipients of the “verbal abuse”.

Terrible Tim: Our oldest fit the definition of first born. He wanted to please. Almost every time we asked something of him, he responded on the first request. His “naughty name” was usually only used when followed by a wink.
Jerky Jeffy: This nickname did not get used often. I didn’t like how it flowed. It didn’t mean he didn’t deserve the name. He often required multiple requests to get moving and on task. On the positive side, he was usually smiling when he got there. A stern look could keep him from truly crossing the line.
Crabby Abby: She was know for her intermittent meltdowns. When all other methods of getting her attention had failed, the “Crabby Abby” name got her attention. (Her name also lends itself to “Grabby Abby” and “Gabby Abby”. When she was playing nicely, either of these other names might also have applied.) Uttering this name made her pause and evaluate how others might be perceiving her. Fortunately, she was then sensitive enough to calm down. We also found it was unfair to refer to her by her nicknames after bedtime-her bedtime continues to be rather necessary. Post-bedtime does not bring out the best in her!
Rotten Rachel: For nicknames, I far prefer the use of rhyming rather than alliteration. This nickname is no exception. It is difficult to picture my youngest daughter being anything other than sweet and helpful. Part of this “fogginess” is likely due to our doing foster care for most of her first 6 years of life. She “had” to have a name, but I either didn’t have to use it often, or the rest of the chaos in our lives far surpassed the possible mischief of our youngster. I have since been told by my older daughter how the sweetness was a partial mirage-she was not always as innocent as she tried to appear.

My kids have never been naughty enough to blow their commercialized Christmas reward. They are good kids, and we have never allowed coal into our household. We try and be fair with packages and fair w/ our budgets for each of the kids. As they open each package, they typically say “thank you”, and only sometimes do we feel guilty that we didn’t spend more on them.

Naughty or nice, kids need rules. And, coercing our kids to obey the rules was customized to the individual child. We messed up sometimes; we nailed it sometimes; and we were left wondering how to do it better most of the time. Nicknames was only one of the weapons in our arsenal against the cry of “Mine, mine, mine!” When the goal is a well-adjusted adult, every weapon is valuable – whether an existing tool or a new weapon/technique from a book.

Bottom line – God didn’t make any mistakes. Are we patient enough to find the right technique to help each child thrive?

Deseeding The Jalapenos

We typically make our carnitas once a month or so. And, although the eating of the carnitas (tacos, fajitas, tex-mexey stuff) is quite popular, the prepping of them is not. While the use of the food processor helps greatly in mincing the jalapeno into many mini bite-sized pieces rather than many larger ones, it is the deseeding and the mere handling of these scovillian packages of mouth-granting pain (and eye and skin and nose and anywhere else where there is skin sensitivity) that causes near mutinous rebellion. (They also complain about onion prepping as well. Fortunately, they are still willing to cut zucchini, broccoli and egg plant.)

The techniques for cleaning the jalapenos have varied, but not by much. My personal technique and the technique I was prepared to use prior to the ambitious volunteer arising from the household of homework-focused young ladies was simply, “cutting off the ends; cutting them in half longwise; and using a spoon to scrape out the seeds”. Most of the techniques previously tested in our house were this technique or variants of it.

Our Chinese student (AKA The Volunteer) was not a newbie to the test of the jalapeno. (As the Chinese have some sort of torture which likely involves bamboo and being tickled by a panda, a person from Mexico may have a torture involving jalapeno [or hotter] peppers and being licked by a lizard.) She had not left her first contact with jalapenos unscarred. She was having to use some acupuncture and hypnosis strategies prior to again approaching the jalapeno task. Despite her initial reluctance, she committed herself to cleaning all of the 15-20 jalapenos she encountered on this visit. Her technique was largely the one I used with the exception of the plastic sandwich bag worn over her hand. As she worked her way through her pile of peppers, (Did Peter Piper pick a pile of pepper or was it a peck?) the pepper juices were seeping into her protective bag. To limit the seeping, she installed a paper towel to try to minimize the jalapeno/skin contact.

As the carnitas cooked all night and we awoke to our Friday morning routine, I did not hear any complaints from our “volunteer” For that, I was grateful. She didn’t complain about the odd skin tingling that follows soaking hands in jalapeno juices. She didn’t mention her eyes hurting from the introduction of juice into them. (Although the juice could get into the eyes by holding a pepper over your eye and squeezing, touching the eyes with tingling jalapeno hands [Odd “jalapeno hands” uses alliteration when it is two totally different letters of the alphabet.] is the most likely source of the pain.)

I love the interaction with our teenagers. Whether they are my bio-daughters or my exchange-daughters, they keep me guessing on how to relate to them. They can be moody; they can be curious, and they can sit back and stare in complete wonder why an adult is not acting how they believe an adult should act. I am good with all of that! It is my hope (and prayer) each one of them can keep their sense of wonder and ability to be slightly inappropriate a couple hours a week!

Threes a Charm

During the course of our marriage, my wife an I have owned a few cars. We have had two trucks, a few cars for her to drive to work, and 4 total mini-vans. Based on the present mileage and the daily driving I am likely to do, tomorrow is a virtual lock to be the day we “flip it”.

Based on the history with our mini-vans, this achievement is the source of some concern.

Our first minivan died on the way to school. (We bought it used from a guy I worked with.) The boys were in preschool. The van died before we got to school. We called the tow truck. I believe friends picked the boys up and finished taking them to school while I went with the driver to the dealership. I don’t remember what we paid, but they did use the “old school” method of buying a car. He took every one of my offers and had to “show” his boss. The van we bought that day served us well…that is until it hit 100,000.
I was driving my oldest daughter home from soccer practice. The van was fighting me the whole way home. Once I hit the driveway I coasted to the end of it. The van had less than 101,000 miles. Due to our fostering and the fear of being without a minivan, we were already a two minivan family at this point. We absorbed the loss of our “beater” minivan, and we shifted all minivan driving to our solo van. As time allowed, we did get a second van so we could have the comfort of a backup.
Both of these van moved to Texas with us a few years ago. As the older van was stretching to the 100,000 mile marker, our oldest son was preparing to drive. Although it was not a cool car, it was his “get me to school” car. Unfortunately, it did not serve in this role long. Just after the 100,000 mark, our son had a collision that totaled it. Everyone was fine. We were left with our one van. It is this van that will be graduating tomorrow to what has been very dangerous territory for our vehicles.

It did have a collision in the spring, but it recovered and has been treated well since. It had two flat tires in one day last December, and it still got us back to Ohio only a few hours late. It has allowed us to fill everyone of its 8 seats a number of times with friends and travel supplies as the 6 of us traverse states to the north and east of us. We are hopeful it will do many more great things before it expires. If already has a couple of trips on its schedule for Christmas and Spring Break.

This is our third try at getting a car to zoom past 100,000 without a hiccup. We think we have done all of the right things. It has a new battery; it has all of the appropriate maintenance. (The cabin filters may be a little dirty, and their may be a couple shopping cart or door dings on its aging exterior. We don’t wax it regularly, but it has been through the car wash twice in the past month.) We “hope” it goes for another 100,000 miles. (Frankly, I would settle for another 50,000 miles.) We don’t visualize some witch doctor creating a voodoo “doll” of our van using carpet fibers from the floor mats or paint chipped off from a deliberate keying. We just know when his time is up, it is up. After he has gone his last mile, we want a place where he can go to watch the young cars drive around. (Not sure if this is the ideal retirement for a worn out car. I was trying to think what might approximate grandchildren.)

Completing this POST-100,000….

As I ran a set of errands yesterday morning, I forget entirely about the changes transpiring on my dashboard. As I hopped in the van to pick up my daughters, I looked down and was completely shocked to realize the van and I were 9 miles past the “flip”. As my morning miles were quickly relived, I thought, “Oh, that happened!” It is my hope the unobserved passing of the 100,000 mile mark will be followed by MANY more unobserved miles as we work toward the last mile of our van’s service to our family.

Sick Exchangeling

It was bound to happen, but we didn’t know when. As the fall flu season dropped upon us, the flu had to choose its first victim. For whatever reason, he (it could be a she as well. I don’t know if sicknesses have a gender, but I am sure most of the female population would enthusiastically refer to germs as “he”) chose to make his first home in the only Korean host available on our street.

We were quite sorry to see her get sick! It totally kicked her tail! She slept lots and ate little. What she did she was…well, you know. As my wife and I discussed her illness, she was likely a good home to the germs for a few reasons:

No resistance to the US bugs: If we went to Korea, we might also have the same problem. Our bugs have some slight funkiness that allows them to more easily attack the bodies w/ little resistance. He chose well–he totally took her out!
Lack of sleep: Two months ago, she was on a schedule 14 hours ahead of us. After having been here two months, she should have it figured out by now. But, due to the demands of homework (yes, she does attend a private Christian school, but they are making accommodations to help her get past the language problems.) She seems to insist on going to bed after 11:30. Since the first two months of school have also been cross country season and accompanied by a 5:00 wake up call, it is hard to sustain yourself very long w/ that little sleep when your brain and body are being pushed every day.
Eats everything: This theory seems to have fallen apart. She really likes to eat, and maybe she just ate too much. I have teased her during a few meals. She will eat a couple of good servings of one of the side dishes. She will then have 4 or 5 “micro-servings” of the same side item. And, after the meal when the leftovers are being put away, she may eat a little more. Sometimes, while the leftover meal is still cooling, she will grab a few nuts or some other snack (usually healthy) to fill in whatever gaps may have arisen as her stomach’s contents settle..
Having window open: Our other Asian exchange student thought the problem was their window being kept open to far. With the cooler nights we have been having, it was her concern the extra coolness may have somehow “possessed” our Korean student. She was able to refer back to a couple instances in her past where “to much coolness” was able to make a person sick enough to throw up. I could believe one “bathroom visit”, but she had numerous visits…
Food poisoning or something like that: Since we had a birthday meal the night before for our other Asian student, she ate a wide variety of items with different spice levels. She also may have eaten something that was not prepared correctly. (Her meal was shrimp lo mien.) The length of her sickness and the fact no one else got sick also makes this theory doubtful…

Once we got past the excessive sleeping and the doting on by the Asian room mate, we needed to try to get her better. Eastern and western approaches do vary. They were also the source of some conflict:

Our healthy Asian student wanted to stay home with our Korean student as the rest of us went to church Sunday morning. My wife quickly trumped her and let her know, “I am the mom. This is my job.” I do not think this compromised the quality of care she received, but it did draw the lines early which form of treatment was going to win the “treatment” battle.
Eastern medicine: I did not witness all of the treatments, but eastern medicine was a small part of her treatment. Our healthy exchange student did the following for her(I did not witness but was told) : she rubbed some oils into her body (not sure how or where), she may have also done some “acupuncture-ish” type things to her using her fingers (?), and she made her congee to eat. (She doesn’t call it congee normally, but does it for our benefit. Congee is a rice gruel we experienced while in China in 2013. It is made by boiling rice in an excessive amount of water. The results are similar to oatmeal. It has minimum flavor. It is also very low risk for agitating a recovering stomach.)
My wife wanted to give our Korean student some Tylenol to lower her fever. Although our Korean student did call her mother, I cannot help but think our healthy exchange student was an influence. She told us NO Tylenol. Since no eastern medicine was sent along with our exchange students w/ any type of manual of how to treat any and all of their various ailments in an acceptable non-western way, we emailed her mother so we could be granted permission to administer the Tylenol. Although she did grant us permission, it still seemed like an excessive burden. Unless we are given specific instructions to the contrary, we should be able to treat the exchange students like our own–in sickness and in health.

She is back at school today. After missing a day of school, she should have an extra day to do homework. If she did not spend 3-4 hours a night doing homework already, this might be helpful. However, the school continues to be grateful for the contributions of the exchangelings. They exposes the school’s students to different cultures and different ways of thinking. And, how many times have you heard an American refer to having the flu as “dancing in your belly?” (Hearing the descriptions of a non-native English speaker continues to amaze me. She uses words in ways I would not have otherwise assembled. ) Having exchange students continues to be a good thing. We are in for the journey not for the little adjustments along the way!

Salty Frog Sympathy

As the pool pump made a couple of those sounds that could not escape my well trained ears, I had to take a peek into the pool skimmer. The skimmer was full of leaves, so it appears the telltale noises could not escape the surprise-adverse ears I have been wearing for a few years.

When I returned the skimmer basket from the leaf burial ground, a little frog was sitting along side the pool. I could only guess he had fallen into the pool and been sucked into the skimmer overnight. (Now that the pool is winterized, this is not likely to happen again this year. A couple of wind storms have given the pool skimmer and the vacuum more than they could clean up in a couple of days. Now, that the temperatures are dropping, the pool blanket has come out to keep the pool warm as far into fall as possible AND the leaf netting has come out to provide a more manageable way to remove all of the leaves once they start dropping from the well placed tree right beside the pool…) I yelled at my daughters to show them my little friend. He did not seem to be doing so well. It was my believe he took a big drink of a liquid (salt water). As the liquid worked its way through his system, his outlook was not good.

My daughters, however, were not going to give up easily. They tried to give him a big drink of tap water. They tried to scrounge up a bug or two so he could have an easy snack. They really loved on him beyond his ability to appreciate it. His movements were present, but very slow when I found him. And, as he spent time with my daughters, it appeared his reflexes continued to slow—so slow in fact, he expired before they had time to implement all of their revival plans. (The final part of their plan was to take him to school to let their favorite science teacher prove she was capable of saving the life of an amphibian….she had already saved a reptile (turtle) and a few fish this school year.)

Despite his brief time as a Gruenbaum, I was so glad to see how his life was not dismissed by my girls. They dove in despite the high probability of failure. They likely accepted the worst case scenario from the moment they met “froggie”. Despite the downside, they chose to be optimistic and move forward with a plan. I enjoyed watching their ultimate fruitless efforts and commitment to extending his life.

I couldn’t help but think of the difficulty they had accepting the death of their hamster a couple of years ago. (They also lost a guinea pig that was very small and very lonely; he just seemed like he didn’t want to live w/o a roommate.) They cried and asked “why?” so many times. As painful as it was for me to see them so upset, they emerged from this pain with a greater understanding of how life can be so fleeting. And, it was likely some of those lessons that were helpful to them as they threw their hearts into trying to solve the frog’s dilemma. As I admired their efforts, I couldn’t help but ask, “Where did my little girls go?” As a frog begins as a tadpole and grow into adulthood, I see my girls swimming/hopping along life’s path gradually becoming the young ladies they were born to become.

Homesick Exchangelings

We have had two great months with our exchange students. We were warned that their emotions may have a cyclical nature. These cycles combined with being away from home combined with a birthday away from their family seems to have them moving into a slightly less social zone.

They still cook for us on a voluntary basis. They still will play some games if homework is not too heavy. And, they are still very courteous and polite. Both my wife and I are/have sensing their need for a little more space. Their normal habit after diner is to go up to their homework room (previously known as the man cave, but due to college, the men are no longer interested in frequenting their previously claimed domicile). My wife has diligently worked to have the school make “accommodations” to keep them from having to do double homework by translating from English prior to doing the actual homework. One of our students has had a wide variety of issues with her credit card and getting money off of it. (This has included forgotten PINs, working at some locations and not at others [it does have one of those new chips], and the most recent problem has been a possible case of fraud on her card) We have tried to be flexible with their needs, but we are just feeling they are clinging a little too tightly to each other and the relationship with their “roomie” rather than the family relationships.

In a past life, we did foster care. Kids in those circumstance were in a very confused state. They were “homesick” for their parent(s), but they realized they were clean and fed with us. They liked the opportunities we had for them, but I believe they also resented those same things because their relative/family/parent was not able to provide them those things. Unfortunately, foster kids often did not have the means to deal with their anger in very constructive ways. This provides challenges far more difficult than dealing with our homesick exchange students.

Homesickness (I think) comes when the “honeymoon” and the newness wears off. As the host family, we can recharge a little when the exchange students “cling” to each other and maintain their solitude. (As much as we enjoy them, they still have changed the family dynamics.) Regardless, we will continue on this journey together. We both (our family and the exchange students) have lots to offer each other. We have trips planned, birthdays to celebrate, and meals to share together. And, as our 10 month adventure continues together, we become more and more convinced that although “near” family can be good, family-family is best!

Bye, Bye Flintstones

My daughter is nearing the end of her first year on the High School cross country team. She has PRed (Personal Record) a few times and continues to show improvement nearly every week. Even though she has had to get up terribly early almost every day since school started, she is still committed to doing her best. “Best” includes doing a 4 mile run on her day off of school when no practice was scheduled. (Columbus Day)

During track season in the spring, the coach noticed she had a breathing issue. We went to the pediatrician and got an inhaler for her to use before she runs. (Their was cross fit training or running nearly every weekday this summer.) When cross country started, she was given the advice to use the inhaler twice within a couple of minutes. This was to be done 30 minutes before the beginning of her race. As the season wore on, this seemed to address most of the breathing issues she was having. Unfortunately, during a couple of windy days, the coach became convinced that her breathing problems were more allergy related than asthma. We thought getting her tested could wait until after the season.

As I went to pick my daughter up on Thursday afternoon after she completed a 3 mile run, the coach had some additional advice for me. “The State meets are in just over two weeks. If the weather is really windy, I don’t know if the inhaler will be enough. She should start taking a Claratin every day until after the state meet.” This brings us to today. It took us a couple of days to get the Claratin picked up. And, it was not chewable, so we would have to do a swallowing tutorial….

Right after dinner the past couple of nights, we have played a “game”. We had purchased a big bag of bulk, mini, peanut butter cups at Sprouts. Last night and again tonight, I threw a number of pb cups into the air near my kids heads where many were caught in the mouth and quickly swallowed. Most of them arched pretty well, and many (not all) of the pb cups were caught. Cheeks, noses, and tongues got in the way of some of the catches. (There is an art to throwing well arced food items [M&Ms, peanuts, popcorn, etc], but it will have to wait for a later time.) Sometimes the pb cup nearly went straight down the throat without chewing or anything. I mentioned to my daughter, “Maybe, you can try to catch the Claratin in your mouth so you won’t have to think about swallowing.” (My wife has always been a little softer when it came to the art of swallowing. My near adult son still has trouble swallowing, so she will give him liquids whenever she can. I come from the other school that says, “Grow up! It needs swallowed, so swallow it!”) Of course, dads are more likely to be soft on their daughters (I did check when buying the Claratin. There did not appear to be a chewable variety….) Since the “catching” of pb cups by my daughter was a little sketchy at times AND because she needed to learn to swallow anyway, we filled a glass of water, and I tried to go to work!

I have been a member of the “Good Swallower” club for a number of years. I take a few vitamins daily. They are stored in plastic container with the days of the week on it. The days of the week don’t matter to me–it is the same mix every day. (Yes, these are identical to what is used by our senior citizens.) Usually, I dump the contents of the “Monday” (or whichever) compartment in my mouth; I carefully arrange them on my tongue; I drink the water slowly; I let the pills float up into the water (maybe swishing the water in my mouth a little) and try to get them to all be approximately in the center of my mouth, and then I swallow. Usually they (Okay, their are 8 total–I am getting old) are gone in one swallowing, and at most two. This is the technique (if technique can be accurately applied to the sketchy details provided) I tried to convey to my daughter. She decided to practice on something small. She suggested peanuts. I suggested something a little smaller. Since the Claratin is really only about the size of a baby aspirin, I was very hopeful the “lesson” would be a short one. After swallowing a small piece of granola a couple of times, she was ready to take her pill. I watched her center the pill on her tongue, and practically before the water was in her mouth, the pill was swallowed. She enjoyed it so much she cleared out the box and took all 30 of the Claratin in one evening. (not really, but she did enjoy the accomplishment)

I think she realized what swallowing the pill would mean. Another part of her childhood was slipping away. No longer could she eagerly look forward to another morning of chomping on the Flintstones (or other chewable) vitamin. (Chewable in my youth was a chalky like thing–it wasn’t a gummy bear!) She had to accept the bottle of vitamins in the cupboard was the end of an era in her life. No more “candy” with the vitamin chaser. She was going to have to take her vitamins the (almost) old fashion way–by water. (The real old fashion way was just eating well–she does that pretty well, too.)

I know some kids achieve this “milestone” earlier in life. I know my kids are not perfect, and are not “100th” percentile on everything. I know we probably could have found a solution that involved the preservation of her “no swallow” policy. And, I also know she didn’t do something she didn’t really want to do because it was the only option presented to her. I am pretty sure it is okay to “secretly” celebrate a milestone if it means your child is daily winning the war against their negative thoughts and the “I can’ts”. I know she is going to be a great adult–I am just hoping she doesn’t figure it out before I am willing to tell her!

Walking Down Life's Road With Andy