Mild Case of Rejection

Just to be clear, I am an adult.  I know the world does NOT revolve around me.  However, a couple things this past week did not go the way I would have planned them….

First, I was looking at a business on eBay.  (I have existing internet businesses, but I was hoping to find something to get excited about–the other business has slowed)  I saw the business listed previously, but now I decided to try and contact the person who listed it.  (I am being vague on purpose–it should become clearer as the story unfolds.) After a couple of days, he provided his phone number.  And, the following morning, we were given the chance to talk for about 45 minutes.  The person I was speaking to had been involved in organized crime.  He had served a couple of years in federal prison.  (Searching the internet on his name provided a few other colorful stories of his business exploits.)  After getting out of prison, he had consulted with various individuals to provide information to the government on how to protect themselves from people with his expertise.  And, now that his criminal pursuits are denied him, he has started a business on the “straight and narrow”.  Due to age and health issues, he wants to sell this business.

At the end of our phone call, he promised to send a couple of emails–which he did.  I think we were fine up to that point.  It was my response to his emails that may have sent us the wrong direction.  I let him know, “I know how important it is to talk to my spouse (my wife is an attorney) about the possible decision I might make.  I did tell her a little bit about your background.  She is a little concerned, but she does trust my judgement.”  I think the “attorney” information dried up the lines of communication.  So, granted this is a rejection, but sometimes I view a rejection as God giving you a “you don’t want to do this” wake up call.  So the first minor rejection….

Secondly, I was planning on going on a mission trip with the church.  I attended an informational session.  I found out most of the trips are done as a twosome (i.e. husband/wife, parent/child or a whole family).  Because my family was all tied up this summer, this was not an option for me.  The coordinator said we could work something out where I could be included with another group.  After a few emails and an additional meeting with a couple I was to be paired with, I was having doubt that spending two weeks in  a foreign country with near strangers would be a fulfilling experience.  The wife of the potential team seemed to embrace the idea of me being part of their team; unfortunately, her husband did not give a similar vibe.

This past week I sent an email to the coordinator and the husband/wife team.  I was making them aware I would not be participating.  I was not expecting a “dripping” email response, but I thought they would reply with something.  BUT, they didn’t.  So, I chose not to go on the mission trip and made it look like it was my inability to commit to the trip.  I didn’t say, “I am not going because I really don’t think he wants me there.”  Oh, well.  The rest of the week was pretty good!

Being Choosy with Mission Trips

I have gone on mission trips in the past.  Pulling away from the distractions of the world is truly a way to grow closer to God!

I was planning on going on a mission trip with our church.  After attending an informational session.  I found out most of the trips are done as a twosome (i.e. husband/wife, parent/child or a whole family).  This organization was looking to send a mission group to China.  Having been to China last fall, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to go back to China not as a tourist but as a believer wanting to serve.  The only issue was sorting out the dates and seeing what group I might be partnered with.  I tried to convince my son to go with me, but due to his need to earn money for college in the fall, he shutdown the negotiating pretty quickly.

After a few emails and an additional meeting with a couple I was to be paired with, I was having doubt that spending two weeks in  a foreign country with near strangers would be a fulfilling experience.  The wife of the potential team seemed to embrace the idea of me being part of their team; unfortunately, her husband did not give a similar vibe.  I realize it may just be his personality, but I was not excited to embark on an experiment where I was separated from my family for two weeks in a foreign country to prove my theory was correct.

This past week I sent an email to the coordinator and the husband/wife team.  I was making them aware I would not be participating.  I was not expecting a “dripping” email response, but I thought they would reply with something.  BUT, they didn’t.  So, I chose not to go on the mission trip and made it look like it was my inability to commit to the trip.  I didn’t say, “I am not going because I really don’t think he wants me there.”

On a parallel project, we were working with a company that coordinates student exchange programs.  When asked what country we were interested in, I said, “China.”  After she told me many Chinese kids are somewhat spoiled due to the one-child policy, I replied, “Whatever country you think would be a good fit.”  This past week, the exchange coordinator informed us they had a nearly perfect student for us—-from China.  She has a sibling, and based on her letter, she seems to be a very well-balanced young lady.  Things should be finalized within a couple of weeks.

So, sometimes you need to go to the mission trip, and maybe sometimes it comes to you!

When Neighbors Become Accidentally Nasty

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Tree producing the seedsCIMG4701Lots of Elm Seeds

We live in a very nice neighborhood.  The neighbors on both sides of us also have pools.  However, our elm tree strongly favors one side of our yard.  And, this is the source of the occasional friction with the those on the other side of the fence…..

The elm seeds are annoying in almost all areas of their life cycle.  The seeds that don’t make it into the pool, usually make it into the flower beds.  And, they are not content to just end their days there.  They insist on germinating and growing into “weeds” with LOTS more below-the-surface-gripping-ability than the standard weed.

Those that find the pool as a landing place, may float for awhile before being caught in the skimmer.  Or, if they are floating-adverse, they will hopefully find a resting place on the pool floor where the “auto-vac” can easily suck them up.  The second picture is the fruit of the skimmers efforts after a windy night.  Once the skimmer gets to full, the pump may shut down because no water is able to penetrate the thick mass of tree “wannabees”.

Please realize this is our tree.  It also gives us shade and a way for squirrels to get handy access to the roof of our house.  Our neighbors have no such affection.  They have to deal with the spring fruit of our trees labor without having to fake any real affection.  Although we have never seen them vent their frustration with all of the seeds that visit their pool, we have seen possible actions on their part to “subtlety” let us know they are wishing for a selective case of dutch elm disease to visit the neighborhood.  At least twice, we have found the contents of a skimmer basket dumped into our yard. (please reference the above picture to get some idea what this might look like.)  Both times there were nice piles of seeds that were just waiting to dry out before being carried into the deep recesses of our garage.  (i.e. Under shelving or into some corner that is not easily accessed.)

I am hopeful the trees pruning of a couple of months ago has negated the trees impact on their pool.  If not, see if he mentions it the next time I see them out.  If he raises the issue, I may mention that dog of theirs that insists on “yapping” at me even though he has known me almost 4 years…. (I guess I am not perfect neighbor either)

When Getting Flipped Off

It has been a few years since I can recall being flipped off.  I never really ran in any bad groups while growing up, but sometimes somebody was sufficiently offended they deemed a “flipoff” necessary.  (I have no active memory of every having flipped anyone off.  Call me very forgetful or a person with some restraint….)

Today, while dropping my son off for his job at Chick-Fil-A, I was driving on the “outer” mall ring. (The Chick-Fil-A is in the food court.) I may have been going a little over the speed limit when I came upon a guy who wanted to pull out onto the “ring”.  Fortunately, he stopped and I kept going.  As I passed him through his heavily tinted windows, I realized he flipped me off.  It is for this reason, I am hoping to determine what the “new” rules for flipping off are:

  1. If someone is about to pull out in front of you and you have the right away but may give them a look like “Really?”, is that worthy of a flip-off?
  2. If the infraction takes place behind a tinted window is it done just to relieve the tension of the driver OR are flip-offs always meant to be seen by the one who incited the flipper?
  3. The driver was male.  Do males flip-off more often then women?  My guess is “yes”, but it seems both genders get pretty sensitive when their driving skills are questioned.
  4. Is there something worse then a flip-off to release driving frustration?  Was the driver REALLY mad at me or was it just the reaction I might give if I touched something hot.  My hand pulls away from heat while his brain tells his hand to do the “gesture” when his pride is slightly to moderately bruised.
  5. Do drivers in bigger cars have a greater or lesser tendency to do the gesture?  This driver was in a White (Does car color reflect the temperament of the driver?) SUV.  Maybe, he just graduated to a larger car and is still trying to go through his hypnosis(biofeedback or psychiatry) sessions to manage his anger and flagrant use of the gesture.  Or, maybe he thought a minivan should know its place and stoop to his more awesome ride…

When I make driving errors, I typically am angry with myself.  Is our society setup now so that when someone catches you doing something you know is wrong the anger needs to be purged from your system by doing the gesture?  I was taught that you are responsible for your own actions.  I was taught to be a responsible driver–realizing some of my decisions can effect others.  It is a responsibility not for the faint-hearted.

Is it possible the way we drive has been influenced by the selfish decisions many of us make in other parts of our lives?  Do many more of us need therapy than realize it?  Is the “tool” we call a car only an outward agent to act out our deep feelings of loss and disappointment?

Or, is the story as simple as, “I got flipped off while driving my son to work!”?  The long-winded version certainly gave my brain a better workout! 😉

Who I Met At Daughter’s Track Meet

As I walked into the track meet, I look up into the bleachers.  There was a gentlemen standing in the stands who made you say, “He must be a professional athlete or something.”  And, as it turned out, he was.  It was Herschel Walker.

As I sat in the stands and watched, he had numerous kids who sheepishly and respectfully approached him.  They asked for autographs, pictures, and hand shakes. As I watched him, I don’t think he seemed annoyed–not even once.  Even though his son was participating in the meet, he was very welcoming of anybody who approached him.  As I walked up to him with my girls, they were giggling and trying to remember if he won the cooking contest he participated in on Food Network.

I am not great with celebrities or people who have a bit more social standing than myself.  And, I do not believe Herschel Walker felt he was any better.  As I shook his hand, I said, “Thank you for being a true sports hero.”   I only said this because I believe it.  If there were more retired athlete like him, maybe it would be a little easier to respect those who participate in his “old” profession.  Of course, by today’s standards, he wouldn’t be considered an athlete–he has no tattoos!

Ashes While In Your Car

************Disclaimer**************

I am not a Catholic OR a member of a denomination that actively participates in a Lenten tradition.  The Church of Christ does not do an Ash Wednesday service.  Nor do they preach giving up “anything” for Lent

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I have seen the pictures in the paper and stories on the internet.  I respect those who devoutly participate in Lent and seek to grow closer to God through the entire process.

That being said, the “getting ashes in the car” seems to be wrong.  Locally, I saw where this was done by an Episcopal priest. (I am sure somewhere a Catholic priest probably did the same.)  Should the priest come out to your car and put ashes on your forehead without you even coming into the church? Some people seem to believe getting to heaven involves marking a few things off of a list before you die.  If you have marked these things off the list and if your good outweighs your bad, you are in.  This is where my concern comes about.  If anything spiritual is done out of a sense of responsibility and it does not have a “heart” component, then it is worthless in the eyes of God.  If things are done to grow closer to God, they are good.  (I am a little particular as to what God I grow closer too.  So, I guess I am VERY particular on this point.)

We are all accountable to God for our decisions.  All things spiritual to you, may not be spiritual to me.  But, if I was Catholic and desired to have ashes on my forehead, I believe attending the mass would be a part of the whole experience.  If you were part of Ash Wednesday, I hope you find yourself growing closer to Him throughout the year….but with a special emphasis on this Easter season!

How I Find Books I Can Enjoy

In the days prior to my Kindle, it seemed like it was much easier to find books I liked.  I attended a university in downtown Columbus, OH.  I commuted every day and worked a job as well.  (Maybe finding suitable reading material during this time of my life was easier because I had no time…??)  These are the techniques are remember using to try and find interesting books:

  • I was willing to try.  If it was the cover or the author or the topic or a recommendation.  I was willing to try a “free” book at the library.  During my college days, I would walk to the main branch of the public library.  I would try and get lost in the stacks of books.  They had a section for Science Fiction in both the paperback and hard cover books.  (I don’t remember there being a “Fantasy” section in those days.  Maybe most of  the “good” fantasy had not been written yet.  Regardless, this seems to be where I find the most reading success today.)  I would walk out with a stack of books.  If I didn’t like them, it was easy to return them.  And, the sheer volume of books available gave me confidence my persistence would pay off.
  • I do still buy books.  This technique is not always good either.  I would go into the fantasy section at Half Price books and make decisions on books based on the number of pages purchased per penny or dollar or whatever.  I did not necessary go in and say, “I love this author.  I must buy more books from them.”  I would think, “This book is 700 pages, and only $2.99.  I am getting over 2 pages per penny.” (No, it doesn’t make much sense, but my goal from a young age was to accumulate volume of books and not always quality.  My thinking, with my wife’s blessing, has evolved toward quality books rather than the filling of shelf page–the next move will be easier!)  My used book purchases is now a couple books or less a month.

Now, in the “kindle-age”, I have a couple of “favorite” ways to find books:

  • Lit map website: This is a fantastic tool.  If you like an author, you type in their name.  You click “enter”, and see what authors appear close by to your author.  I presently really enjoy reading Brandon Sanderson.  The Lit Map below is on him.  And, I have read a few of the authors close by as well as a few to the right (in the image) of him.  It certainly is worth considering this tool

http://www.literature-map.com/

LitMap-Sanderson

  • Amazon Reviews: These are many cautions here.  Many books I have read are 4+ stars.  A quick read of the first few pages will make one wonder who the reviewers really are–I suspect members of the authors family or someone else that the author has the ability to influence and/or threaten. Instead of reading the highest reviews, I often read the 1-Star reviews.  Some of the  these reviewers seem to have a personal vendetta against the author or author’s topic.  If this information is weighed in with any personal experience you may have on the author, it still should help you to determine if the book could be for you.  (Some people give reviews after liking the book but disliking something about the Kindle formatting.  If this is the reason for a low rating, it can be somewhat dismissed.  This is especially true if the review is older and there has been time to improve/update the formatting issue.)
  • If you don’t trust the lit map, you can read books that your author recommends.  As an example, I am a follower of Brandon Sanderson’s Facebook page.  He will post things frequently on what he is reading or what authors he likes are writing.  This method is not full-proof, but it has helped me expand my books to consider.
  • My local library does offer Kindle books.  Before I download, I will check reviews on Amazon to see how they rank.  (Using some of the logic described above.)  And, if I download a loser, I can always return it and try a new one.
  • Lastly, I sometimes troll through the list of free books in various categories at Amazon.  And, if not the free books, the top sellers in my favorite categories.  Sometimes authors are trying to make it look like their books are more popular than they really are.  (They lower the price or give it away for free.  When they raise the price back up, the book will still appear high on the list AND likely get some sales at the higher priced based simply on its present rank[the sales rank accumulates regardless of the price–it is copies of the book sold]—even if it was its rank while free/extra-cheap.)

I still have bought some duds, and even found a few treasures in the Facebook pages of sites making you aware of “free” or “discounted” Kindle books.  If you are willing to work a little bit and allow for a few mistakes, you can make sure you and your Kindle spend plenty of time together.

Quotable Quote #2

“We have been sodiumized.” – (not to be confused with sodomized) said after having Salisbury steak for lunch that was seasoned with store bought bread crumbs, onion soup and a gravy made from Cream of Mushroom soup–in total, all ingredients almost certain to have pushed our daily sodium intake easily over its daily limit.