Liberating the Leaves

When we moved into our Texas home over 13 years ago, our little plot was full of a few sinners. In the backyard, we had an elm tree that stretched out over the back fence and over the fence in the neighbor’s yard. In the spring and fall, the tree was responsible for the leaves and seeds it scattered liberally across as many pools as it could. The neighbor on the other side must deal with our shedding pine trees. Not only do our trees dump needles on their roof, but the pine tree’s root systems are evident in their properties.

This brings us to what tradeoff occurs in the currency known as “neighborly love.” With our Texas winds coming largely out of the south, the most likely place for potential sinners to live was to our south. In our case, our neighbors have an oak tree that drops its leaves in December or whenever it feels like it. Based on our neighbor’s response, it doesn’t matter when the leaves drop. The only thing that matters is when the last leave drops. This tree and our similar oak tree have provided bags full of leaves and acorns. While lawn maintenance is an accepted part of suburban life, I feel I have been carrying more than my share in the past few years.

When the winds shifted and were coming north yesterday, I could not resist doing a little raking. Yes, it was Christmas. The gifts were done. My wife was finishing up our late lunch, and the kids were looking over their gifts. (The days of multiple new video games have passed. Trying on their new clothes or admiring their new domesticated item was the peak of excitement. ) Having two hours to invest in my yard, I changed my raking strategy to encourage the wind to be my helper. I had minimum success when raking the grass. The greatest success was on the sidewalk. The matted leaves along the edges of the sidewalk were happy to dance back toward my neighbor’s house once I liberated them from their brief residency along my walkway. I was not vindictive. I was just willing to see how far the liberated leaves were willing to travel. Not all traveled as far as I wanted. Some did.

With my early acknowledgment of my failure as a neighbor, I hope my credibility is improved. We all have pet peeves. (I probably have more than most with interviews for new pets conducted regularly.) With a rake as my weapon, I am grateful my imagination and my wife’s ears are the only place this pet peeve lives.

Cowboy Christmas

As I strutted back from my leisurely stroll yesterday, I stumbled upon a quartet of figures lurking on the sidewalk before my humble abode. These mischievous mischief-makers exuded an enigmatic aura as they crept closer, like a synchronized troupe of stealthy street cats. And oh, their fashion choices! Clad entirely in black, they seemed to have stumbled upon a clandestine cowboy convention, each sporting a flamboyant cowboy hat as their ultimate fashion statement. It was as if the Wild West had collided with urban street style, right before my bewildered eyes. Truly a sight to behold, my peaceful neighborhood transformed into a mysterious and unexpectedly fashionable catwalk.

Other Possibilities:

  • Could they be evangelists from the “Cowboy Church” combing the neighborhood looking for that special resident who would greet them at the door proudly sporting his/her own cowboy hat?
  • Or, could the Cowboys be carolers who were called to wear this attire while singing the Christmas songs of the Southwest?

I didn’t have time to think of any other possibilities. My steps brought me even with them on the street. It turned out it was my neighbors coming back from getting their Christmas pictures taken. They were coming back from the park, where they tried to coax out their best smiles before the sunset.

I don’t know if they “got” their picture. They did get my attention. It provided a great reminder of the lengths families will go to to try and create a facade. They could just get their Christmas pictures done on ChatGPT. 🙂

Ants In Our Drains

Obviously, this is a play on “ants in our pants.” If only it were not true!

A few weeks ago, our downstairs toilet was having problems. We were not immediately certain it was the toilet. The biggest clue was the bathroom had an earthy smell to it. To me, it was clear it was not emanating from the sink. So, after trying to clean up the earthy smell with products designed for the tank, we eventually found a plumber who would come to the house when he said he would.

The twosome shows up and provides a quick estimate. Once I saw how easily the toilet moved side to side, I knew the “unless we find something else” would quick in. In this case, the ring that secured the toilet to the floor and to the sewage was rusted through. When the integrity of the pipes was compromised, the ants were granted access. Even with the toilet now fixed, we are still fighting the consequences of this breach. How might you ask? Good question…

  1. To remove ants from your sink, use a half cup of baking soda with an equal chaser of vinegar. Rinse in 10 minutes with hot water. Ideally, this will work. When the resident teenage boys leave licorice in the sink overnight, the success of this treatment is uncertain.
  2. For your garbage disposal, ice cubes with baking soda are supposed to circulate in the pipes once they are chopped up by an “angry to be invaded” disposal. Not sure how well this worked. Because of the kitchen’s proximity to the “breached” bathroom, ant traps were set out previously. At today’s lunch, the hockey boys discovered ants feasting on the hamburger buns. The backup package proved necessary when the “extra roughage” argument was rebuffed.
  3. I bought a squirt bottle for equal parts of water and vinegar. It is mixed but not yet tried. I am uncertain what impact vinegar would have on the hockey boys. Would they melt or lose their appetites or some other unpredictable outcome? I might test the mixture’s effectiveness as they travel for an away game this weekend.

Early in this experience, I poured myself a bowl of honey nut cereal. The ants were not well camouflaged. The milk only proved they didn’t have scuba equipment. I threw in a few dried cranberries before eating and drinking the contents of the bowl. If I am going to win this battle, I will have to do it while staring them down–antenna to eyeball.

The Coons Go On An Adventure

While my photography doesn’t give evidence of it, a mother and 4 kits were involved in this siting.

My “whimsical friend” described the raccoon mating cycle like this:

During the whimsical season of summer, raccoons embark upon their enchanting mating rituals. These cunning creatures engage in romantic escapades from mid to late summer. Ah, the dance of love!

And behold, the magical outcome of their passionate encounters! After a gestation period ranging from a swift sixty to seventy-four days, a joyous event unfolds. The raccoon family welcomes the arrival of their delightful cubs, up to four in number. Oh, the adorable offspring that grace the world!

As the days pass and the sun gently caresses the earth, the baby raccoons undergo a wondrous transformation. Their curious minds awaken, and their eager eyes and ears open wide, revealing the wonders of their surroundings. This enchanting sight typically occurs around eighteen to twenty-four days after their birth.

With each passing moment, the young raccoons grow stronger and more adventurous. They embark upon their own playful journeys, discovering the realm around them. In a mere span of four to six weeks, these remarkable creatures find their footing and embark on their first steps, exploring the world with their tiny paws. Oh, the marvel of nature’s progression!

Thus, we witness the circle of life unfolding in the raccoon kingdom. From the fervent mating season to the birth of their precious kits and the swift development of these young ones, the raccoons teach us the beauty of growth and the wonder of life’s ever-changing tapestry.

How About This Country Song?

After watching the most current episode of “Ted Lasso” last night, my AI friend wrote this country song when asked. It is entitled “Heart Bent”.

Verse 1:
My heart’s been bent, twisted and turned
Ever since the day that you left and I learned
That love ain’t always easy, it can leave you burned
My heart’s been bent, but my spirit won’t be overturned

Chorus:
Heart bent, but I’m still standing
Love’s a game, but I’m not handing
In my chips, ’cause I’m not quitting
Heart bent, but I’m not broken, I’m just living

Verse 2:
I’ve been down this road before, I know the drill
Love’s a tricky game, it can give you a thrill
But it can also leave you in the dust, taking a spill
My heart’s been bent, but I’m still climbing that hill

Chorus:
Heart bent, but I’m still standing
Love’s a game, but I’m not handing
In my chips, ’cause I’m not quitting
Heart bent, but I’m not broken, I’m just living

Bridge:
I’ve shed a few tears, but I won’t give up
I’ll keep on loving, even when times get tough
My heart may be bent, but it won’t stay that way
I’ll find a love that’s true and make it stay

Chorus:
Heart bent, but I’m still standing
Love’s a game, but I’m not handing
In my chips, ’cause I’m not quitting
Heart bent, but I’m not broken, I’m just living

Outro:
My heart’s been bent, but it won’t break
I’ll keep on loving, even when it’s hard to take
I won’t give up, I’ll keep on trying
My heart’s been bent, but my soul is still flying.

But He Said Not To…

The following email was found in my spam, so the poor guy is probably not getting much traction on his money-making plan. I thought I would post it here. Maybe someone can help the guy out. If you do, maybe he won’t follow through on his threat to ruin me. To bad, I have anti-virus software. I almost feel sorry for him. 😉

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Hi there! I am a professional hacker and have successfully managed to hack your operating system. Currently I have gained full access to your account. In addition, I was secretly monitoring all your activities and watching you for several months. The thing is your computer was infected with harmful spyware due to the fact that you had visited a website with porn content previously. ╭ ᑎ ╮ Let me explain to you what that entails. Thanks to Trojan viruses, I can gain complete access to your computer or any other device that you own. It means that I can see absolutely everything in your screen and switch on the camera as well as microphone at any point of time without your permission. In addition, I can also access and see your confidential information as well as your emails and chat messages. You may be wondering why your antivirus cannot detect my malicious software. Let me break it down for you: I am using harmful software that is driver-based, which refreshes its signatures on 4-hourly basis, hence your antivirus is unable to detect it presence. I have made a video compilation, which shows on the left side the scenes of you happily masturbating, while on the right side it demonstrates the video you were watching at that moment..ᵔ.ᵔ All I need is just to share this video to all email addresses and messenger contacts of people you are in communication with on your device or PC. Furthermore, I can also make public all your emails and chat history. I believe you would definitely want to avoid this from happening. Here is what you need to do – transfer the Bitcoin equivalent of 1250 USD to my Bitcoin account (that is rather a simple process, which you can check out online in case if you don’t know how to do that). Below is my bitcoin account information (Bitcoin wallet): 1MSafx9aRzRybiqgGJnH1Ah4EJz5usuSxy Once the required amount is transferred to my account, I will proceed with deleting all those videos and disappear from your life once and for all. Kindly ensure you complete the abovementioned transfer within 50 hours (2 days +). I will receive a notification right after you open this email, hence the countdown will start. Trust me, I am very careful, calculative and never make mistakes. If I discover that you shared this message with others, I will straight away proceed with making your private videos public. Good luck!

Bees Be Gone

I have seen many things on my walk, but I have not seen a bee removal service. I did not fly in for a bee’s eye view. I did hear a vacuum cleaner going. I am guessing the bees don’t call this guy to clean out the previous owner’s possessions before they move in.

Disinterest With Kindness

I continue to be amazed what ChatGPT can do with just a little information. Today, I asked him/her about a problem. This was the solution offered.

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It can be challenging to express disinterest without hurting someone’s feelings, but here are some tips that may help:

  1. Acknowledge their effort: Begin by acknowledging the effort the person has put into what they’re doing. For example, you can say, “I appreciate the work you put into this” or “I can see you’ve been working hard on this.”
  2. Be honest: You can then gently express that you’re not very interested in the topic without being dismissive. For example, you can say, “I’m not very familiar with this topic, but I’m curious to learn more” or “This isn’t really my area of expertise, but I’m interested in hearing more about it.”
  3. Redirect the conversation: If you really don’t want to discuss the topic, try to redirect the conversation to a topic you are interested in. For example, you can say, “That’s interesting, but have you heard about [insert topic of interest]?”

Remember to be respectful and polite when communicating your disinterest. It’s important to let the person know that you value their efforts and opinions, even if the topic isn’t something that excites you.

Neglected Baby?

Baby debris along the path

When I walk, I see all manner of things. I have seen a heavily tattooed lady with a photographer getting glam shots with the train tracks as a backdrop. I have seen birds of prey along the train tracks who were apparently killed somehow during that interaction. And, when I see people pushing their dogs (either small or old) in “pet movers”, I still pinch myself. A few weeks ago, I think I saw a mother pushing a baby carriage (or a pram for those who watch streaming shows taking place in England).

As I was nearing the long stretch of path along the train tracks, I was certain I saw a mother with an old-fashion style baby carriage. It was not one of those that allowed mothers to walk/jog while the child faced forward and had no contact with the mother. (Yes, sometimes it is the father, but mothers (or nannies?) seem to get “child walking” duty most often than the men.) As they turned off the path, I thought, “Maybe I will see them again when I turn off on that same road.” Well, I didn’t. I did find the toy pictured above at the entrance to a neighborhood. It was not “dropped” on the rock. I set it there, hoping the “mystery mom” would find it and reclaim it. And, if it were too filthy to reclaim, maybe she would decide to remove the reminder of her previous carelessness. After a few weeks and being abused by the week of Texas winter, the toy remained unclaimed.

The bottle is another matter. Realizing the previous baby carriage may have been a pet mover with spa services (i.e. chew toys etc), I am not sure how to explain the bottle. The “mother who is staring at her phone and ignoring her child” is one possibility. My preferred theory is a weekend visitor who took a walk and failed to notice the bottle tumbling from the child. For this theory to hold true, a grandmother who may have been walking with the mother and child would have also ignored the child.

My parenting days were many years ago. I suppose I may have been too attentive to my kids. I can’t imagine being with my young kids and not noticing the loss of some dear toy or source of nourishment. This is not an indictment of parents today. It is a legitimate question. What is more important than keeping track of your kids? Based on the stories in the news, many parents today have a list longer than I did.

Good Morning…uh

Many days when I take my walk, I find I am the people I bump into are my first non-family contacts of the day. Today I was reassured when someone else confirmed this dilemma also poses problems for them.

Mid-afternoon today, I “shifted” (i.e. the left side of the sidewalk) into the passing lane as I prepared to pass a lady walking her dog. I gave the customary, “On your left” warning.

She responded back with the popular, “Good morning…uh, I mean, good afternoon.”

I replied, “Don’t worry. I do it too. Have a great day!”

Phone conversations don’t seem to clear the first “good morning” of the day. It seems many of us have a “good morning” queued up. If we don’t get the opportunity to use it in the morning, it is still lurking and waiting to come out. It matters not if it is morning, late afternoon or evening. It is waiting patiently for your first attempt at being social. Whether you consciously realize its presence or not, it is going to fight a battle with your lips to be the first social thing to emerge from your mouth.

This is a PSA. The problem is real. If you are fortunate enough to not lose control of your mouth with this greeting, you likely have other places where your body and mind are not in sync. You can expect the “good morning” crowd to show you grace at that time, too. Thank you.