The Annoying Man Who Drives Us Places….

As the girls and I hopped into the car this morning to get them to school, my youngest daughter mentioned some of her friends would not be at school today because they would be attending a “Pink” event at a local church.

Being the observant father, I said, “I bet Freida (not her real name) won’t be there.”

My daughter somewhat surprised said, “How did you know that?  I didn’t know you knew they went to that church.”

I then went on a rant that put me in the annoying category. “I know I usually just read at your track meets and different activities, but if I am poked with a cattle prod long enough I can be forced to talk to people.  And, despite my rapidly fleeing youth, I do have the capacity to remember and connect dots….as long as they aren’t too small…..”

Somewhere during this rant, my oldest daughter with slightly elevated voice uttered, “Stop!”

In a slightly frustrated voice, “Please don’t tell me to “Stop” like that.  I was just trying to have fun with it.”

She did apologize.  I don’t think either of them understands the challenges a parent faces.  Although I may be changing in subtle ways, the more likely change is coming from them.  As they are crawling their way into adulthood, they attempt to figure out how to navigate the new boundaries of the parent-kid relationship.

I am left feeling like the “annoying guy who drives them places”.  As they continue to grow, I continue to wonder where my “little girls went”.  When I get past the self-pity, I realize they are young ladies who are going to have to assemble a life with rules I am not able to provide for them.  Despite the bouts with my pride, I need to realize these girls are really not mine for much longer.  As I fight back the feelings of being annoying, they are developing a template for the possible order they will have in their adult life.  As I come to grips with this, I do have to face the fact I can be annoying….

Friday Morning Driving Karma

With a slightly late start and the traffic lights wanting to admire my naturally handsome smile by making pausing and stare at numerous of their kind, I was a little bit more intense than usual as I took my disguised school bus (going to school, but not yellow–yes, I felt it a little awkward, too) toward the schoolish direction.

As I drove the street of my special school shortcut, a parked car on the right entered into traffic.  At the STOP sign just a few yards from his house, he turned right.  Unfortunately, so did I.  With a speed limit of 30 and this vehicle barely going 20, I was looking for any excuse to get around him.  When he pulled to the right curb, I thought he was going to park and stop.  My instincts were false.  He kept driving and my effort to pass him was greeted by a need to immediately floor it to get around the on-coming traffic.  All was fine.  The car with the problem (I realize I also had a problem, but from my perspective, it was all him-it was only when reflecting back on it to I even suggest I was slightly in the wrong) made a right hand turn and cleared the road.  My daughters gave a slight jump.  I made some sort of experienced-dad comment like, “That was more interesting than it should have been.”  The drive to school continues.

This week has been a bad week for trains.  Karma was not to be robbed.  We here the horn announcing the trains impending road blockage.  As the track come into view the gates are down and the train is slowly crossing the tracks.  (Many times this train will stop on the tracks.  Yes, we have sat through it a few times.  We have tried to outrun it to the south and cross before it blocked the tracks, and we have strategized on ways to avoid it in the future.  The “leave the house early” has saved us many a delay, but see paragraph above….)  Today, we chose to turn right before our normal crossing place and be satisfied with crossing the tracks at a road slightly to the north.  This did work out…kinda.  Because of the cars backed up on the other side of the train, the “plan” of turning left after crossing the tracks on the different road did not work so well.  By the time we made the left hand turn and wound our way through the residential streets seeking our normal school path, the train had cleared our “regular” spot.  Karma-One; Andy-Zero.

The school drop off went okay.  Yes, we were later.  Yes, there was more traffic.  Courteousness remained.  I was on the road again ready to avoid any Karma remaining in my morning drive.  I did avoid most of it. (maybe he laid no additional traps or I was too slippery for him to catch me.  As a rule, I do cut through another neighborhood that runs past our church to avoid a few lights and LOTS more traffic.  I may have scored a point or two against Karma here.  If I didn’t see it, it can never be tallied.  I have far better things to do than seek out traffic reports of alternate routes to defeat a fictitious nemesis.)

As I made my last “real” shortcut, Karma did try again.  This time it was a car accident on a two lane road where the accident was in my right turn lane swelling into almost two lanes.  After staring at a bumper wondering if a turn was available while the traffic light seemed VERY slow to change, I took the matter into my own hands.  A quick left turn gave me an alternate option to my desired road.  The rest of the drive home was nothing a little normal traffic light patience could not handle.

With a possible recognition by Karma of my elusive nature, I was able to pull into the driveway 5 minutes before the trash truck arrived.  With the trash out, Karma (I hope) will put me back into the “to-do” jar.  And, with any luck, my name will not be drawn again for quite some time.

Finally Finished Watching Chuck

My wife, second son and myself finally finished watching all 91 episodes of Chuck last night. It was one of 3 or 4 shows that we alternated back and forth with.  The Walking Dead, Amazing Race and other shows have been in the rotation over the past few months.  We attempted to screen new shows for life “after-Chuck”, but as of yet, we haven’t found one.  (We have tried The Following [too graphic] and a couple of shows with aliens or dystopian themes, but nothing else has risen to the top.)

When Chuck started, it was goofy and entertaining.  I enjoyed how they handled Chuck evolving into a “spy”.  Or, more appropriately stated, Chuck’s version of a spy with different versions of the Intersect and the inability to pull a “real” trigger.  The tension between Chuck and Sarah was part of the fun.  He was crazy about her, and she couldn’t (wouldn’t) admit she liked him.  The emotional sparring was what made the show really “fun”.  But, as their relationship evolved and became more permanent (i.e. marriage) the lack of tension became more passion.  And, the story lines became more “gal” friendly than previous “guy” friendly.  I still was able to enjoy the show, but as we watched the last episode last night, I felt no regret.  It was relief and satisfaction of a task completed.  I am looking forward to the next show we can enjoy as a family.

If I Were God….but, I Am Not!

My son who is still at home works at Chik-Fil-A.  Since he has refused (he says he is too busy and is saving me a car insurance payment, but I really think he likes being taxied.)  While taking him to and from work, I will sometimes throw out questions of a spiritual nature.  The other day, I asked, “What do you think about freewill? If I was God, I would have pulled it after they messed up.”  (The atheist book I was reading recently had been my inspiration for these type of thoughts.  Atheist [many anyways] seem to think that religion restricts their life and their ability to really live.  Many look down on Christians and their commitment to a God who, in their minds, has provided no evidence of His presence.)

His response was a little more serious than I hoped for, “We have to have freewill so we can choose for ourselves.”

Because he has been working lots and is preparing to graduate from high school in a few weeks, I will forgive him not realizing the irony in my question.  If we did NOT have freewill, we could not even entertain the idea of truly having it.  And, this highlights the difference between how God responds to these type of issues and how we as humans react.  As humans, we often lose a privilege if we do something wrong.  God has chosen to allow us to keep our freewill.  And, as an added bonus we get to die and live our lives trying to reestablish the relationship that was so easily available before sin came into the world.

It is for this reason I know God is not human and exist on a completely different plane than we react.  God is patience and kind and loving.  As a parent, my patience will wear out and I will grow to resent my kids.  God continues to give us mulligans and do-overs.  And, we still maintain our freewills throughout the process.  Earthly parents want (i.e. demand) honor.  God is willing to work with us to bring us to Him despite the battle waged by our freewill to do so.

If I were God, the world would have been recreated and destroyed many times over.  (That is, if I could forgive myself for creating it and messing it up the first time) God knew what He was doing, and He continues to navigate our world to its eventual end.  I may not love every day of the ride, but I am glad I am able to get their without blind obedience.  I can be angry at God while still being obedient.  When the anger disperses, God is still there.  He knows when we look to Him we do it because we want to give our freewill back to Him.  And, if we are just considering giving our freewills to the cheapest bidder, eternal life is a pretty good exchange.

My Reading of An Atheist Book

Do to a family member having some spiritual questions, I wanted to try and read a book about atheism to try and get an understanding of what this extreme view looked like.

The book i am reading is Generation Athiest.  This book is a grouping of stories of how a variety of people “came out” as atheist.  Many of the people seem to have problems with the biblical take out homosexuality. Some grew up in a charismatic church.  And, many grew up where one or both parents put no real priority on a Christian world view.  Many of the participants in the book made it seem like the Christian world view was so oppressive.  Those who came out may not all have grown up in Christian homes, but it seems like giving up the faith of their youth was a way to remove guilt.  It gave them a freedom they did not feel they had while practicing a faith.  When you don’t have to think about hell, praying or becoming closer to God, they did not have to deal with ALL of the responsibilities of having a faith.  They can still be great people, but it is not because of a God they don’t believe in.

Many felt the need to be “activist atheist”.  They created groups on their college campuses or organized protests of prayers at their high school graduations.  Almost all of the participants used the word “religiousity”.  I think the word means anything religious.  But, as I read the word, I can almost picture each of the participants in the book sneering as they used it.  Richard Dawkins was also mentioned by most of those who participated in the book.  They may not have a God, but Richard seemed to certainly be a prophet of their practice. Many mentioned they hadn’t told their grandparents and/or very reluctantly told their parents.  Also, how they were so happy they were atheist even if they were rejected by their family members and ostracized from their friends who “really” weren’t their friends.  And, if this is the case it is sad.  However, maybe it is just convenient to always blame the Christians even if the atheist-proselytizing just annoyed the Christians.

The book opened my eyes a bit.  It did not change my beliefs.  One of the participants asked the question, “What if the Christian faith is not real?”  He felt comfortable answering this questions by being an atheist.  I think the bigger question is, “What if it IS real?”  What if at the end of your life you find out their is an afterlife?    What if you are an atheist and you find out your selfish, close-minded, pro-evolutionary view were your undoing?  What if eternity (whatever it looks like in the place where nonbelievers go) is a constant reminder of the self-focused life that made you so happy while on earth?

Atheist are still in need of a Savior.  They convince themselves science can solve it all.  But, at least they are not hiding behind a “fake” faith.  They are letting you know they are not “saved”.  Pray for wisdom and patience!  God can break down any barrier, but He has to be the one to break it down using His people on earth.

The Accident Squared

What started as a second insurance claim within a few weeks ALMOST got very ugly, but fortunately, it was resolved without the “worst” happening.

As I returned the rental car to the collision repair company our insurance company told us to use (Service King), I thought everything was fine.  I gave the clerk the car keys, and I went over the “fixed” car with the my service rep.  All seemed fine. (I did eventually have to take the car back due get the A/C recharged; it was fixed without incident.)

Unfortunately, 3 hours later my wife (it was her car) was contacted by Enterprise Rental cars.  On the rear driver panel of the car, there was a small dent.  I knew I was not responsible, and after some texting/talking to my service rep, he also confirmed he had no memory of the damage to the car.  (Because the car was turned in at Service King and Enterprise did not have a rep located [they do rent space from Service King, but if it is not staffed, it doesn’t count] in the lobby of Service King when we turned in the car, the “check-in” was not official.)  So, by Enterprises standards and according to their contract, we were responsible for all of the damage to the vehicle.  (When I contacted Service King, they were told the vehicle had already been taken to another different collision repair company.  The car could not be looked at.  We were just told we were responsible for the damage. Also, we also had damage to the car caused by a neighbor backing into our car the previous summer.  We were leaving on vacation the next day and we noticed it at 10:00 at night.  When we returned, the suspected neighbor whose house was for sale, was gone and we were stuck with a dented rear driver panel.)  Service King said they would have fixed it for free, but since Enterprise had already moved the car, the option was no longer available.

Once we found out we were supposed to make another claim with our insurance company to get the damage fixed, we took quite a few actions:

  1. Since this was the second claim this year on our policy and since we had the same rep, I tried to get him on my side by having him vouch for my character.  And, he did same something like, “He is a stand up guy.”  Not sure if this helped at all, but our continued insisting in our innocence couldn’t hurt.  I know it was stated more than once, “If we caused the accident, we would not be going through any of this.”
  2. We checked the Service King website.  The site claimed all Service Kings had the Enterprise people on site.
  3. On the folder given to us with our Service King bill, it has Enterprises logo and mentions them a couple times.  My lawyer wife seemed to think (I agree) this implied Service King was an agent for Enterprise.
  4. We received a letter from Enterprise claims settlement.  We filed a dispute with them.  They said they would let us know in a couple of weeks.
  5. I tried to go directly to Enterprise to talk to the responsible manager.  (I ended up helping a very disoriented man find the Wells Fargo bank behind the Enterprise location.)  He was not there.  And, the Service King manager brought this up with the Enterprise management over lunch.  Enterprise seemed very content to maintain there stance of us being fully responsible for the accident.
  6. After additional conversations with Service King, I found out SKs new policy is they will no longer take the keys on behalf of Enterprise.  (i.e. they have changed their policy because Enterprise is not responsive to customers)
  7. During the same conversation, I mentioned how on the Service King website states “Satisfaction Guaranteed”.  And, how at this point, I was not satisfied.  In regards to the survey, he told me I should do what I needed to do.  When I did complete it, I tried to be complimentary to the service rep, but for the “recommending” part, I graded low.
  8. I had a conversation with the Enterprise manager.  He wanted to make sure we understood what was in the contract.  And, he restated, “You are responsible until it is checked in by an Enterprise rep.”  I commented to him, “So, if the Enterprise logo is not on their shirt, I shouldn’t give them the keys.”  I also stated how a very false impression is created when the keys are taken.  A “normal” customer would quickly believe their responsibility is completed at that point.
  9. My wife called Service King customer service complaint department.  She felt it went well.  Her comment of, “No one seems to be denying this accident happened on SK property after we dropped it off.” At the very least, they said all of the right things.  It gave us hope that something might still happen to save us having to pay the full $1000 bill.

A couple of days later, a miracle did happen. Service King called back.  I was told the bill would be covered by both Enterprise and Service King.  If I received any more bills or correspondences, I should pass them to Service King.  Of course, we were quite pleased with this outcome.  Now, we hope to give the $1,000 to a charity of some type rather than waste it on an accident we weren’t responsible for.

Just A Walk In The Neighborhood….

It was just a normal walk in the neighborhood.  I had already walked 3 or 4 miles earlier in the day, but I always save a post-dinner walk for my wife.  A few of the highlights…

  • Due to my previous walk, my tachometer was set a little faster than my wife’s speed.  It is a normal occurrence.  I eventually back off or she speeds up, but it all works out.
  • A mother was sitting on the front porch with a baby on her lap.  Her phone was extended and likely in “selfie” mode.
  • I got bit my one of the neighbors dogs.  As we walked up on the neighbor, she was being pulled 3 different directions by all 3 of the dogs.  I commented, “You better watch it, or your arms are going to get longer.” (A reference to her getting stretched.)  As my wife and I continued to walk, I either smelled like chicken or the largest dog in the group was defended his owners honor.  I ended up with a little bite that barely broke the skin. Did I mention it was a bite?  I give the owner credit for asking the question where she really only wanted one answer.  “Are you okay?”  I did not give her full satisfaction.  I responded, “Yes, but it did break the skin.”  We quickly walked on.  My wife had to listen to my rantings for the rest of our walk–she is a saint.
  • We saw another neighbor walking her dog.  She chose to cross the street and walk on the sidewalk on the other side of the street rather than allow her well-behaved dog to even consider tasting me for my resemblance to chicken.
  • We danced through a couple of sprinklers as they seemed to be bored with merely wetting the grass.  They needed the challenge of seeing if they might encourage grass to grow on the concrete.  You think they would have learned last year.  Certainly, sprinklers have to have a very low IQ.
  • When I wasn’t ranting about the dog, we discussed our VERY interesting days.  We discussed how we are so much skinnier than we were in high school. 😉  And, how we only love to eat foods that are good for us.  And, oh yeah, how we want to do the same jobs we are doing now until we keel over.  And, when we got through all of the chit-chat, we ended the walk realizing we are pretty lucky to have ALL we have.