Labor Weekend

I didn’t have to let all the tasks pile up until this week.  It just worked out that way.  Between the yard, the pool, and the removal of the expanding foam sprayed along the top of the house to keep the wasps out, I have been exceptionally busy.  All the tasks were predictable.  I knew I would close the days with an achy back and tired legs.  (I woke up Saturday morning with my left knee muscle twitching uncontrollably.)  The pool was the real unknown.

Over the past month, I have tried to get two quotes on fixing the skimmer area of the pools.  I had to call to have the first quote sent to me, and the second quote never arrived.  On the quote I received, I was told the cost was over $1,000 and the pool would need to be drained entirely.  After checking with my buddies at the pool store, I found the product I needed for under $40.  It would be a little messy.  Fortunately, it was not allergic to water like the companies that provided quotes.  I would just have to remove a couple inches of water.

Today was the day of the siphon.  YouTube videos provided the shortcuts.  It still took us two tries to get a slight, but continual trickle out of the “bye-bye” water end.  After weeding in the backyard for two hours, the water level was nearly as full as at the start.  I tried to expand my siphon knowledge and move the hose around, but it made no difference.  In frustration, I started heaving 5-gallon buckets of water out of the pool while my wife was preparing dinner.  Mocking my wife’s tone, my son came out saying,  “Don’t hurt your back, luvvy.”  I was trying hard to use my knees, but tomorrow will bring what it brings.  Believing myself ingenious, I am letting the siphon work all night.  If I have missed something and if the siphon speeds up, the pool may be empty by morning.

Tomorrow I will be mixing this cement-like stuff and applying it to the areas of need.  If I wait until mid-week, the pool temperature will shift past refreshing and into the near-polar-bear range. (A cold front is coming through.) So, whether or not I like it, tomorrow is the day.  If I do it correctly, I get to save myself a few dollars.  And, if I do it wrong, I will hope to give it a favorably retelling.

You Have Changed

We all change, and life has taught all of us lessons.  I know I have changed, too. When a decade or two or more pass between your time in high school and those friends you infrequently now interact with, a casual meeting will not allow them to see anything beyond the superficial.  A quick non-discerning glance will show I have most of my hair and I weigh in the same neighborhood—give or take a patio—that I weighed in a high school.  A conversation will show you more.

  • Parenting changes you:  Until you are a parent, you only have a hint of what it takes to be one.  On top of our own children, we had foster children, exchange students, and random other children or young adults who volunteered to be subjected to our special form of life.  Not every guest left of their own volition, but we didn’t lose anyone.  Not every problem can be solved, and if is is solved not everyone is going to be happy.  We accepted it, and we were better parents for it.
  • I am security motivated and not money motivated:  Prior to getting married, I was certain is wanted to be “rich.”  In the decades since, I found I was targeting the wrong type of rich.  My middle-aged rich is, “having what I need for today plus assurance I will have enough for a few days after that.”  Once you have achieved that goal, you can either desire more, or you can become content.  Once you are content, it is more difficult to “owned” (i.e. employed) by someone who values your time far less than you value it.
  • Giving back has a variety of flavors:  Once you accept your daily blessed, regardless of your circumstances in that moment, you want to be part of the solution.  For my family, that has taken a variety of forms.  As noted above, we have done parenting on a variety of levels.  Although we sometimes faltered, God loved all the children in our house.  As the parents, our non-biological kids and biological kids kept us challenged.  We tried to see each kid like God saw them, but it was not always easy.  Any Christian can likely say, “I should do more.”, but we have tried to be proactive in our missions.  There is no shortage of people who need Good News.   We seek to reach those we are uniquely qualified to serve.
  • Marriage can get better every year:  Not every day of our marriage has been a home run, but year over year, we continue to grow together.  We both have committed to work on it.  I may not be pulling my weight yet, but I try harder every day.
  • It is okay not to like everyone:  As a Christian, we need to be respectful of everyone.  This does not mean that everyone acts respectfully.  We should, “Do unto others as we would have them do to us.”  But, not every person you meet is meant to be your best friend.  If a person doesn’t bring out your best and you don’t like who you are around them, you need to stay focused on being your best you…even if you are temporarily disappointed in yourself.
  • You are never too old to take on a new and challenging project:  It seems like I have been trying to learn a language for more than half my life.  It is a combination of not fully committing and not having the right method.  Fingers-crossed the present method will work.  I prefer not to paint or do some other projects around the house.  When I realize the money saved, I put my reluctance on the shelf.  This blog is also an example of this.  I have made multiple runs of being consistent in posting.  If anyone is reading this, they are taking part in a double-digit attempt to reboot it.  And, I am old enough to risk boring you to death recounting all of my other projects that did not come to a satisfactory conclusion.  Tomorrow’s project will be redemption.  d
  • I have strong political opinions, but I only talk about them if invited:  If we were to meet, my goal would be friendship.  But, if you can only talk about politics and this politics differ from mine, than the conversation would end quickly.  If we both agree politicians are self-serving regardless of their policies, we would have a point of agreement.  If we would continue talking about politics, then some issues may come up.  The purpose of bringing up these issues is not to convert the other person to your opinion, it is to find points of agreement within the issue–the gray points.  However, I read a lot, so I am pretty sure we could have a conversation and only tangentially touch on politics.

You Haven’t Changed

“You haven’t changed.”

I have heard that a few times since High School.  With high school far more than just a decade ago, the simple statement could be confused with a compliment.  The California friend I had lunch with earlier in the week also made this observation.  I have met him possibly five, but not over 10 times in the past 15 years.  If I use this 15-year window, it might better explain the lack of observable aging.  As is often the case, there are many possible reasons why this could be occurring.  And, should I choose, I might mention a few of the reasons I am sure aging is not ignoring my body.

  • This comment seems to go mostly from men, although my wife does not dispute its validity.  At a quick glance, I seem to have everything I had in high school.  My weight is within 5% of my later teenage years.  My theory for this is “basic training.”  Immediately after high school, I went off for the Army National Guard.  In the 2-month period, I was there, I lost 8% of my body weight.  It took 4 or 5 years to get back to my high school weight.  Within the first class reunion behind me, I had people confused as to what my overall body mass was.  Additionally, my mother always claimed I put extra weight on in the wintertime, and I was “big-boned”.  Having known many of the friends through a few Ohio snowfalls, my body has been a co-conspirator in my perceived body weight.
  • My hairline is seemingly unchanged compared to many of my peers.  Appearance can be deceiving.  I know there has been a slow and steady retreat towards the top of my head.  My daily visits to the mirror confirm this.  If their “hair loss” awards me youth points, then I will accept this as “good genes”.
  • My support socks do give some evidence I am getting older.  As I talked with my sons the other night, “varicose veins are not great genes, but there are far worse.”  If I need to feel old when I look at my legs, I also need to remind myself they walked 6 miles this morning.
  • As we grow older, grooming habits have to change.  I have had to change my habits, and I don’t enjoy it.  While the top of my head has kept much of its hair, what I have lost has migrated to places formally needing no maintenance.
  • Could the observations be compromised?  Could their eyes, memories, or minds be aging at an unaccountable pace?  Am I aging correctly, while the expectation of those complimenting me is the origin of the problem?
  • Some clear indicators of age easily slip unnoticed.  I may not appear gray, but wait to see how I look after not shaving for a few days.  Possibly I am misremembering, but I seem to have groupings of darker pigment on the back of my hands.  Could they possibly be spots?
  • I have taken my vitamins for years.  As my age changes, I have adjusted the bottles tucked under my sink.  Whether it is the vitamins or the daily awareness of eating well, I will let someone wiser decide.
  • The most important factor may be the strongest indication I have been doing the right thing for the past few years–my life is low stress.  Yes, my kids and my business have given me moments of stress.  Yet, the stress has been of the short-lived variety.  I have dealt with the stress of being self-employed.  (I have found this stress far better than in some office environments.) And, I have dealt with the stress of having more kids (both bio and non-biological) in our house than was reasonable.  Hugs would not fix the problems they created. Usually, my wife stepped in before I started banging heads together.  Could I also mention marrying well is a good way to keep the stress down?  Oh, and I don’t put up with friends that are great at creating stress.  If they don’t change, we spend much less time together.

I have warned my wife that I may wake up one morning and have aged a decade.  But, until then, I will enjoy the ride and not be a braggart.    Genes are a dice roll, but I try to do what I can to help the genes along.

Pandemic Blogging

I waited 6 months to blog about the pandemic.  Why?  I am guessing laziness plays a role.  And not having a “Why” makes it more difficult to give others a peek into how my mind works.  I am uncertain I have anything worth peeking into.  Yet I will post a few entries to find out if the peeks have any value on this side of my mind.

This post is a filler because I am have nothing else today.  My “better brain” time was spent meeting with a friend from California for lunch.  And, I talked on the phone in the rain.  My phone case got water in it and my AirPods stopped working.

I have so few good thoughts a day.  If I don’t capture them during their optimum times, then the moments are gone.  I muddle through the day thinking I have nothing to write if I miss those periods of creativity.

I will try to maintain the experiment.  I am not asking anyone to travel down the road with me.  I am seeking the discipline associated with blog commitment.  If I excel, I will trust myself with more.  If I fail, I will be grateful I didn’t quit my other hobbies.

Sharing Church With Germs

This year the flu is going to have to share the church pews with COVID-19.  Besides those bugs, the cold, cough, pinkeye, and everything else will still be out there actively recruiting hosts.  With all of the changes put in place at our church, it is hoped that none of the germs have a chance to acquire any draftees.  What is our church doing to meet in person and keep COVID out of the building?

  • When you enter the building(you are requested not to enter the building until 15 minutes before the service starts), you need to have a mask on.  If you forget to bring a mask, they are available to grab when you walk in.  If you choose not to wear a mask, there may be a grey area surrounding your delivery to the balcony area.  If you cannot or will not wear a mask, they ask you to sit up there with the others who so choose.  From my glances into that area, it appears most everyone is still wearing a mask of some type.
  • I had no idea mask came in so many varieties.  Possibly there are only have as many mask types as I realize.  Some people strike me as being very lackadaisical in attaching the mask to their face.  I think a few of the people are placing the masks on their faces upside down.  When you look at them, it covers their noses and mouths disturbingly.
  • The scariest masks are “face gloves”.  They conform to the face nearly perfectly.  They look like something a mutant who has no mask would wear.  They snug up on the face so well it is believable the person has only eyes on their face.  The donation of the nose and mouth are unexplained but obvious to all who behold.
  • When singing is taking place, cheating is a survival necessity.  Unless you just whisper the words to the songs, you are going to need air.  The mask we wear are designed to limit your access to air.  Either you cheat a little and put your mask below your nostrils, breathe less deeply than you desire, or you end up winded by the end of the stanza.
  • The benches/pews have been modified in two ways.  Since the church has 2 services, each service has its own set of benches.  If the first service uses benches 1, 3, 5, and 7, then the second service will use 2, 4, 6, and 8.  The benches are divided in half.  One family group can sit on each side of the tape.  Some older retired people who know each other well view the tape as a suggestion and not a demand.
  • We don’t greet each other during the middle of the service.  This is really unfortunate.  Before we attended the services in person, I found it difficult to watch at the house.  It was too distracting.  Singing in person with actual music does not compare to singing in your living room.  Except for singing louder than the person on the bench two rows behind you, the lack of greeting each other makes me look forward to the changes yet to come.
  • The discomfort of the mask promotes cheating, even when there is no interesting reason.  Yes, the mask stink.  Yes, the pandemic stinks.  But, again my rule-following is coming out, if the rule for sitting in a designated area means you wear your masks, you are making a contract with those around you you will wear your mask.  Many nostrils are visible in the older members.  If they are not worried about their health risk while being in a more compromised group, I suppose I should not get all worked up either.

We hope the shift comes soon.  With all of us prepared for masks until the end of November, anything short of that will be a blessing.  Expect the worst and hope for the best.  A little praying won’t hurt either.

Pandemic Life

Fortunately, pandemic life has evolved over the past 5+ months.  This does not mean it is better.  It does mean we are more grateful for things we used to take entirely for granted.  It means there are still frequent reminders of the before and during…  (I am hoping the “after” is more closely aligned with the “before” then the “now”.)

  • When walking on very wide paths, I get offended when I on the far side of the path, and the person coming at me from the other direction hugs the middle of the path.
  • I do laugh at people who wear masks when they are out in the beautiful outdoors walking at the park.
  • Walking while listening to audiobooks is good, but walking while chatting with one of your children is better.
  • The directional aisle markers were annoying when they first were placed on the floor to try and control the traffic movement.  Just to have fun today, I tried to honor the “One Way” requests.  It was annoying, and I was the only one trying to honor it.
  • The plastic barriers available to checkout staff are an excellent addition.  I appreciated each of them hanging in there when they were one of the few people we saw outside of our family.  Even if they just give the appearance of safety, I welcome its presence as we navigate the checking out process.
  • Buying a car the last week of February (two weeks before the pandemic) has given us the opportunity to get 6 months to the tank full of gas…and we are still going.
  • I feel bad for local businesses, especially the restaurants we like.  But their food is not as appealing when you bring it home and eat it at your kitchen table.
  • I miss the smiles.  The eyes may have an extra twinkle when the person smiles.  Some people seemed to have given up the effort.  I still feel obligated to tell people I am smiling even when it is obscured by the smile-blocker.
  • When adult children come home to stay during the pandemic, they have different ideas of what “home rules” should be.  Even when parents think they are being flexible, they are “old-fashioned.”
  • The constant availability of food early on in the pandemic boomeranged in the summer.  We still wanted to cook, but the crew didn’t eat with the zest they did at the beginning of the pandemic.  They still ate, but they needed to save room for all of the baked items.  The baked items have since been given up, too.
  • My family is glad they didn’t have to face this crazy time without a swimming pool.  My wife is especially grateful.
  • Having new neighbors move in during a pandemic is not very welcoming.
  • Saying “goodbye” to neighbors moving out was as simple as a text.
  • Exchange students can haves their lives quickly disrupted when their home countries want them back.
  • It really stinks when major European vacations get canceled.
  • I thought I was a thankful person before, but it is obvious I have far more to learn in this area.

I Hate The Masks, Too

At the beginning of the pandemic, I heard what people were saying about wearing masks.  I even had a friend in Europe ask me, “Why does your leadership say not to wear a mask?”  I quoted the story told in the press, but it did seem both sides of the pond had a different take on wearing or not wearing the “smile-blocker.”

When Texas jumped on board with the “mandatory mask” rules, I hated it from the very beginning.  Although, I had started to wear a mask when going to the store.  I could make an argument, “I am healthy and not sick.  Why should I wear a mask?  I had a negative COVID test 6 weeks ago.  I should still be good, right?”  While all of that may be true, I am a rule follower.  If the governor or someone else who has legal standing can say, “No more shopping without your mask.”, then I will comply.  I will wait to put the mask on until just before entering the building.  And, as soon as my hands are free and I am outside of the building, I will remove the mask.  Maybe I think I am getting away with something by not wearing the mask for one second longer than necessary.  Regardless of my dislike for the mask, I recognize the store’s authority.  If they say, “No shopping in our store unless you wear a mask.”, then I guess I am naïve enough to take them literally.  Could they possibly mean that shopping without a mask within their establishment is not to be tolerated?

This brings me to today.  (And a week ago when I went to the same store.)  Today, as I walked behind a couple, (were they a husband and wife?  Were they a mother and son?  To my untrained eye, they did not scream, “I am healthy and I don’t care who knows it.”), I noticed they didn’t have a mask on.  I thought, “If they walk in that way, that is pretty brazen.”  After being told at the same store last week that, “The manager really doesn’t like enforcing that rule.”, my spider senses started tingling.

If it is a rule, it is a rule.  Or, is it a rule unless someone ignores the rule, then it isn’t a rule for them?  But, if it isn’t a rule for them, who is it a rule for?  As I inquired of the gentlemen offering additional sterilizing services of my cart as I walked in, “Why can’t they order online and pick up their order?”  Smaller retail stores sometimes have signs on their front windows, “Call ‘this number’ for curbside assistance.”  They want your business.  Yet, they realize consistency is important.  If they let customers decide whether a rule applies to them, then isn’t that a step on the road toward anarchy? (In fairness, I get irritated when dog owners have their dogs off the leash in mandatory leash areas, too.)

Unfortunately, nearly everything is political these days.  As you evaluate what governments do and don’t do, realize the factors you need to consider when you receive your ballot on election day.  (If you vote early, it is the same difference.)  One party favors more government.  The other party favors less government involvement.  Neither party may be offering you an ideal candidate.  As a Christian, I see both of the major party tickets being flawed.  Despite this fact, I will vote.  And, I will encourage others to vote for the candidate that best expresses their values.  If they don’t know who does, I will tell them. 😉

 

Pandemic Help

As I went out on my walk today, I did not have to walk too far before being reminded of the storm that passed through last night.  Our yard looked like a gardener had attempted to snip away at our live oak trees.  The trimmings were all over our yard.  In a couple of cases, the gardener let his shears go crazy.  He tested the sharpness of his shears on some large branches of the pine trees.  But, whatever chaos was in my yard, I needed to get my walk in before the humidity climbed.

As I continued along my path, the gardener must have been joined by an arborist.  Their efforts on the trees were causing chainsaws to buzz and rakes to gather in the smaller trimmings.  Before I reached the one-mile mark of my path,  a landowner was trying to recover a branch that fell into the path across a fence.  The older couple ahead of me stopped pushing the stroller that contained their lapdog to help.  Mr. Lapdog was struggling to find leverage on the branch.  Mrs.  Lapdog was standing there waiting.  As I was about to pass them, I offered to help.  My offer was something like, “Not sure what the rules are about helping during a pandemic, but I would be glad to.”  My AirPods may have prevented me from hearing their jubilation at my offer.  Mrs. Lapdog rushed to her husband’s aid before I could risk introducing a few breaths of possibly asymptomatic germs in their general direction.  Whether or not I heard the answer, being helpful during a pandemic was not as easy as before her arrival.  (Is it fair to call the pandemic a “her”?  Since hurricanes can now be male or female, it seems logical pandemics would follow the same rules.)

Before arriving home, my value was reestablished when I talked to a gentleman who frequently is doing yard work when I pass by.  He was busy working his rake when I paused on the other side of the road.   We swapped a couple of, “I saw a bigger tree blown over then you did” stories.”  After I appeared to win this debate, he was reminded of his rain gauge.

I said, “Based on the increase of water in my swimming pool, I would guess your gauge shows an inch or two.”

After picking up the gauge and checking, he said, “Just over one and a half inches.  To be exact, it says one and six-tenths.  Yeah, we got some rain.”

During a pandemic, it seems safest not to be in a situation where the pandemic should be a source of conversation.  Pandemic help might just be trying to interact as much like “before” as possible.  We are all trying to digest a normal that involves extended mask “laws”.   Maybe the “help” people need is a conversation where they can see your lips move.  They want to be acknowledged and not treated like they have super-cooties that can hop from bodies within a 10-foot radius.  They want to see a smile that is not covered by a mask and only assumed to be present based on the twinkle in your eyes.  Possible that is the kind of help people are seeking.

Gateway Book

When my wife and I traveled home from Tampa in June, we ended up having to be directed to Houston for the night. To fly back “home” the next morning, the flight number was the same as the redirected flight. We were told our tickets would be all we would need to get us through the gate and on the airplane, but to make sure, we decided to suffer through the customer service experience at the main entrance to the airport.

Due to our need to verify, we arrived at the airport with a substantial time cushion. We weren’t on the only flight that had been directed to Houston, so we had lots of company. For the sake of this post, just assume the line worked out fine. (I tried to help the Spanish-speaking gentlemen ahead of me by telling him he was the next one up at the counter. He took offense and scolded me for trying to help. I shrugged and realized if I was traveling with my wife and small child I would be extra stressed, too.)

To kill the boredom, my wife and I struck up a conversation with the person behind us in the line. We started talking about various books we had read and enjoyed. A few recommendations were exchanged. Our new friend even went to Amazon and bought one of my wife’s recommendations while we were waiting.

It was somewhere during this conversation I mentioned how my wife was not much of a reader the first few years of our marriage. Other than a few John Grisham books, she rarely joined me in reading before bed. The term “gateway book” soon entered into our conversation.  Our companion’s significant other was not much of a reader.  We gave her a few suggestions from Eric Metaxas and other authors.  We encouraged her.  It is worth the continued effort.  

What was that first book that I read and convinced my wife that she should be a reader too? Was it a book by Erik Larson?  Was it some other book that allowed me to penetrate her anti-reading armor?  It has been a few years since we have become good reading buddies.  I don’t ever expect her to enjoy fantasy like I do.  And, she is likely to favor the legal novels more than I ever will.  It is good to have someone to screen books for you.  Since we know each other so well, any recommendations offered are typically VERY good ones.  It is relaxing, for me, to be able to look up at my wife and ask her how her book is going.  If lucky, we will have many retirement years to enjoy many stacks of books.  

Good News, Bad News

I needed a hair cut

Good: I have hair.

Bad: How long is the line?

Good: Online check in. Yeah, 0 minute wait.

Bad: The online application doesn’t have an asterick telling you the power is half out and only 2 of 5 stylist have equipment beyond scissors that are able to work right now..

Good News: My favorite stytlist, Xanadu (not her real name) is one of the few that has rechargeable clippers.

Bad News: My daughters (or daugher Xanadu would not give up) told Xanadu about my blog so she was ready to pounce on me and try to get me on the defensive.

Good News: Xanadu was able to cut my hair using natural lighting since her station is near the front of the business.

Bad News: The lack of electricity made the place a little extra chaotic. Xanadu got pulled a few different directions while clipping away at my head. AND, she is able to cut and talk at the same time.

Good News: We bought a card where we pre-paid for a number of haircuts.

Bad News: The card has officially been given up as lost with an excessive number of haircuts remaining.

Good News: I got to bond with Xanadu a little more. She is a good kid who I enjoy chatting with. And, I think she enjoys chatting with me too!