Observations

Faux Fall

I just like to say it….it certainly has the makings of a good tongue twister!

Up north where I spent the first 40+ years of my life, we had Indian Summer. And, although this is not politically correct, it is a term used to designate a few warm days of summer like weather (high 70’s or 80’s) that occurs after the first frost of fall. It still creeps down to fall-like temperatures at night, but the daylight temperatures give a last fleeting glance of weather not available in the Midwest until a few months have passed in the new year.

I have designated “Faux Fall” as a glance of fall while summer is otherwise still fully operational. The air conditioner can get a few days off (allergy suffers and those who are not in tune with these weather aberrations will continue to burn the electricity they wouldn’t need to if they would only open their windows) and the rooms can get aired out. For our exchange students it was literally “a breath of fresh air” as the windows were opened. Summer in Texas made it a little harder to love their visit to the US. Now they know what the fall will look like, they can hang on a few more weeks until summer hits the “pause” button until next year.

Spicy Hands

As a father and “exchange” dad of 2 to 4 daughters (depending on how you want to count them—presently, there is a very strong case to be made for the 4), I don’t make it a habit of smacking their bottoms. (The teenage years are challenging years as the “new” father/daughter dynamics emerge, but it certainly is not as often as it used to be.) After some events of this weekend, I find out the kids (I am hoping it does not cross gender boundaries.) play a game called “hot hand”. (Maybe “kids” is throwing the net out there too widely…it might just be my daughters or whatever other girls are inhabiting our house at the moment…) Apparently, the winner in hot hand is the one who is capable of using their hands to smack some one in the rear and have in sting significantly.

The whole “hot hand” thing only came to my attention when I heard the girls talking about “spicy hands”. Our Korean exchange student claims this is what they call someone who has the American equivalent of a “hot hand”. (After dinner last night, the 4 girls were in the family room together trying to come up with “girl” stuff to talk about. Once they got started and spicy was mentioned, three or four more spicy body parts were mentioned including spicy foot, spicy elbow and I know I definitely heard “spicy toe”. ) It is worth mentioning at this point what “hot hand” meant in my youth. A hot hand was the star basketball player who was having a difficult time missing the basket. (Rarely me…although I am pretty good at killing flies. The key to killing flies with your hands is not swinging where they are at, it is swinging where they will be. Flies typically spring backwards a little before taking off. So, my fly killing success comes from clapping my hands about an inch above the surface they are sitting on. I don’t always get them, but since I am such a good clapper and have my eyes clouded w/ fly blood, I often have a “hot hand” after either an attempt or a success.) And, when boiled down, “hot hand” was just someone with a good streak of luck going. Regardless, our Korean exchange student was going to get her definition of “spicy hand” broadened…..

(I am sorry this is another blog post that mentions carnitas. They will not be the star; they are only a necessary evil to justify the “spice” for the broadened “spicy hand”.)

When we go to Sams and buy pork shoulder butt (it is the carnita meat of choice), it comes in a two pack. With one of the butts being quickly spoken for, the second one is too expensive a cut of meat to sit too long in the frig. So, we make another batch of carnitas and freeze it. A key ingredient in our carnitas is the jalapenos. Since our Chinese student cut the jalapenos last time, I felt it was fair for me to ask our Korean student. (They already have both told me they will not cut onions, so I have to find something for them to do in the kitchen.) Fortunately, she jumped right in. There was 15 or so jalapenos, but I only showed her 6 of them before revealing the rest of them. I showed her “my” technique of cutting off the ends before slitting them up the middle. A spoon is used to clean out the seeds so the contact with the juices can be minimized. It is not a completely pepper juice free experience, but it makes it pretty safe.

As she slogged her way through the peppers, she decided to try some cream cheese icing my daughter was mixing. As she dipped her finger in the icing and licked her finger, she said, ” Cream cheese icing is hot.” I let her know it was the pepper juice on her hand, but she complained no more and finished up all of the peppers. She easily transitioned into cookie icer/decorator without making any more mention of the peppers. (At this point, I had chopped all of the jalapenos and onions up in the food processor. The crockpot was set up for a long cooking on “low”. As I went to bed, my brain was completely “spicy hand” free.

As everyone assembling in the kitchen to eat breakfast before church, I heard those fateful words, “I will never cut jalapenos again. My hands were so spicy. I touch my face and hands, and I could not sleep. I like to eat carnitas, but I cannot cut the peppers again. I do not like spicy hands, Sam-I am.”

With the exception of the Dr. Seuss reference, this is pretty much all true. I wanted to be a fiction writer once, but decided I did not have the imagination for it. I have found a much happier marriage when my mind takes reality and warps or twists it into some sort of sausage. It closely resembles the meat I started with but with a couple of extra spices and a casing that holds it all together.

A Lasting Impression

-ALLCOUNTRY

I will admit to not being a huge Mel Brooks fan, but I am a fan of those who are willing to do the unexpected and act in a way where the “normal” is turned on its ear. And, this is where Mel Brooks proved he is a comedienne who has comedy to span generations.

A quick glance may prevent you from seeing his humorous spin on the Chinese Theater experience. Using a prosthetic extra finger and allowing it to be captured in concrete, will give this Hollywood “star stop” a very interesting back story for years to come. Did he really have 6 fingers on one hand? I never knew he had 6 fingers. But, in a generation of smartphone owners, any legends created just for fun will quickly be shot down by a Googling public. Regardless, I applaud this attempt to make a fun and lasting impression in a world where extreme behaviors are normalized.

Ancient Chinese Secret

Even though the picture may give a clue to the “secret”, the question remains, secret to what? Well, we will get there!

While traveling in China last year (good fun while at a good value), nearly every hotel had a hot water maker similar to the one shown. And, being we were in China, the tea bags were available with a variety of flavors available. Somewhere during the middle of our (my wife and I) trip, I commented to my wife, “Boy, this would be something I would not mind having at home.” The trip ended and since the last water heater was not able to fit into our luggage (not really), it remained on my Christmas list. By my own admission, I am hard to shop for. Thus, almost everything on my list ends up being wrapped and stuffed under the artificial Christmas tree. (If you need me to say directly I got the heater, “I got the heater!”

I enjoyed it during the winter and spring, but as we moved into summer, the “teapot” spent nearly all of its collecting dust on our counter. That is until about 3 weeks ago….our exchange students arrived. It did not take them long to practically adopt the teapot as their very own. (They also made it nearly impossible to keep coffee/tea mugs clean.) Remarkably, they just heated the water w/o tea when they drank it. And, drink it they did. Specifically, our Chinese student drank the warm/hot water almost exclusively. Her claim was drinking the hot water would cure her of the cold she caught in New York prior to arriving at our door. She had to promise me for a couple days that the cold/cough could be taken out by hot water before it happened. When it did, she got some satisfaction out of getting better w/o our “wacky” (I don’t think she used this word–my interpretation of her actions) western medicine. Because all water must be boiled in China before drinking, the logic seemed solid for drinking hot water, but would drinking hot water allow a skeptical American to dodge an extended illness?

Since I really had nothing to lose, I decided to give it a shot. I attempted the “hot water” challenge for 2 days. (I began this attempt 5 days ago.) During that time I drank coffee, tea (in bags I drank green tea and other varieties from Trader Joes, and loose tea brought by our Chinese student–two pinches in the bottom of the cup—MAN, does it expand as it rehydrates!) and the plain hot water. Drinking hot water might seem fine when you just crawl in from the desert and mumble through cracked lips, “Water”. But, drinking hot water while an ice maker drops a load inside the freezer seems just plain wrong. Regardless of how disconcerting this exercise may have felt, for two days I held firm. I did have the occasional sweats that are sometimes a part of being sick. I was not sure if they were regular sweats or sweats induced because of the oral enemas I was subjecting myself to. (It just seems weird using this word in this context because it summons up some childhood memorie. Having those memories while in my adult body is certainly no where near any “happy place” I would describe for anyone!)

As I look back over the illness, I am not quite sure how to evaluate my recovery. I do have a couple of lingering symptoms, but I think they are part of my “normal” recovery pattern. The real question still remains: Does drinking hot water shorten the length of the viruses reign in your body? Is “hot water” a mass hypnosis technique conducting on the entire Chinese population? Is “sweat tea” and “Coke” a product cleverly engineered by big business to make us all smile and/or speak southern? Regardless of the outcome, it doesn’t hurt to try out a few “secrets” from other cultures. If it doesn’t kill you…..something else will. But, you will get a few cultural experiences along the way.

Impatient Motorist

In a parallel dimension – somewhere – an impatient motorist hears a siren blaring. To avoid having to stop for the ambulance, she tries to outrun it. Succumbing to the pressure of her husband, she pulls into a driveway to allow the ambulance to pass. As the ambulance prepares to pass it stops and it blares even louder. It also honks its horn–something is wrong with how she is parked. Is she still in the road? What has she done wrong?

In frustration, she pulls back on the asphalt and continues driving south on the tree lined country road. The sirens stop and the ambulance pulls into the very driveway she was parked in.

A small headline the next day read, “Ambulance Arrives Seconds To Late to Save Victim”. Our driver felt very badly. Her vehicle now bears a bumper sticker stating, “I don’t speak SIREN, I only speak HORN”

This is entirely fictional–unless you choose to believe any of it. And, then I will tell you what is not.

24 Hours An Exchange Parent

As we have now passed our first 24 hours of being exchange parents, we are pretty sure we have 2 of the best kids in the exchange program as our guest. Their English is better than expected, and their smiles are almost as cute as those of our own girls.

What we have witnessed at the conclusion of the first full day:

They keep bringing gifts out of their suitcases for us. After the first wave of gifts last night (very thoughtful gifts for the young girls as well as the parental units–we think there parents may have given them some wise guidance!)
Our Korean student is nearly afraid of the sun. She prefers the clouds and rain of her homeland. At numerous stops today, she ran from the car to the store and back to the shade of the car when we came back out. She squinted her eyes and looked down. The heat was stifling to her. At one of our stops, she got a magazine to protect her eyes. Sunglasses and a hat are on the Sunday shopping list.
Our Chinese student has a cold/allergy. While in China last year, I realized how great it is to have a hot water pot as an appliance. When our student asked for hot water, I thought, “She must want to make tea.” This was not what she wanted! She only wanted to drink the hot water. When we went shopping today, she put hot water in a thermos so she could drink it while we were gone. Very strange, but if she gets healthy, it is good!
Our Korean student is not wasteful at all. While helping to make guacamole tonight, she clean out the avocado cleaner than I believe I have ever seen it. There was virtually no flesh left inside the “shell”. She did a remarkable job! And, while eating cantaloupe and eating it off of the rind, I do not believe I have EVER seen anyone bite it off so close to the rind. The got nearly all of the orangey flesh w/ no complaints of eating a bitter rind.
Our Korean student was also very intent on getting organize shampoo. We went to Target, but no options were worthwhile. It took going to Sprouts to get her a viable option. Organic shampoo is NOT cheap!
Our Chinese student could work at Chick-Fil-A! She tries very hard to be helpful. When I thank her for her help, she says, “My pleasure.” I will enjoying it while it last. Once school, life and the lack of sleep mount up, her enthusiasm for being helpful may be gone as well…
Our Korean student is a shopper! As we went to Hobby Lobby to look at watercolors, she kept getting distracted. She would wonder from item to item and once it was explained (and sometimes not), she would say, “Great!” (I guess this is a good non-committal word used to show interest, but not excessive enthusiasm.)
While visiting their new school today (my bio-daughter has a robotics camp open house we were attending), the girls both met two people who spoke their native tongue. They took on a special glow as they conversed in Chinese or Korean. Someday, they might be able to be the adult who greets the exchange student in their native tongue unexpectedly. It was a special gift they received twice over today!
It was a REALLY good move having two exchange students of the same gender in our house at the same time. Since one is a Christian and the other is not, this offers a benefit. Also, they can be the buddies to each other that our bio-kids have been able to be to each other. (All of our 4 kids had a same gender sibling who was w/i 16 months of their own age.) They share a bunk bed in a good size room. They treat each other nearly like sisters, and although I have not heard “twinsey” speak or anything resembling it, the fact they both speak an Asian language gives them more in common than I can likely fully appreciate.

Very early in my “sentence” that will run the full school year I feel very fortunate! Even though 4 teenage girls is more than most men could take, I am not “most men”. I signed up for this, and I grateful to invest in the lives of as many kids (whether my own, exchange students or any other variation) as I can. I am not sure what I will be when I grow up….until I find out, just call me “dad”….

Sod Replacement Therapy

As a relocated midwesterner, sod was never much of an issue when there were any problems with the lawn. We knew the rain wasn’t going to be much of an issue, and we sprinkled some grass seed (likely blue grass) down in the spring, and were pretty confident any “naughty lawn” places would grow back in nicely.

In Texas, we do not have this luxury. We need to buy a piece (or pieces)of St Augustine sod (one of really only a couple of choices in lawn greenness in Texas) to fix the bad spots. Due to our winter being extra cold and somewhat dry, it seems the ugly spot ratio was much higher than normal in most lawns this spring. And, as much as we want the HOA award for best yard, we will just have to be satisfied not being the house people say, “as least it is not our yard.”

As I did some of my own sodding this year, these are techniques used by myself and others:

Plugs: This is like one of the pictures above. As I view it, there are two ways to get to effectively perform the “plugs” technique. First, you go back to a healthy part of grass in your back yard. You take up a few hunks–not too many from one spot, but taking a few from here and there. You then transplant these pieces to the less than appealing area–likely the front yard somewhere. Secondly, these “plugs” may come from the dissecting and dismembering of a purchased piece of sod. Somehow, you can’t seem to commit to using a whole piece of sod in a particular area, so you spread out your luck over a larger area with more pieces. Certainly one of them will take off!
Lay in: Although not described above, this method is more an approach than a specific technique. When new sod is placed in your yard, an area is created for it. The old, dead grass is cleaned up and the new piece of sod should fit right in. You may backfill a little once the “sod-space” is removed to account for any low spots, but the goal is to get the new sod as close to the Texas dirt/sand/ants as possible.
Lay on: This approach competes with the “lay in” method. And, maybe “layout” is a better term to describe it. It seems this technique is pretty popular–likely because the LACK of work necessary. If you have a spot with dead grass, there is no problem. Just put the sod right on top of the dead grass. It makes it obvious to all who pass that you have new sod in your lawn, and if anybody wants to bury a body, these kind of lawns are ideal!
Kill it all: This seemed to be less popular, but I did see at least one neighbor who used it. Our yards are laid out with a little grass next to the street, the sidewalk, and then the rest of the front yard. Apparently one neighbor was SO disgusted with his appalling lawn and the ugly glances from those passing his house, he decided it was better to admit full defeat then to try and claim partial victory. It appears he used a weed/grass killer on the whole section between the street and the sidewalk. And, once it all died, He probably had 50 or so pieces of sod that found a new home in his yard. Unfortunately, it appears some of the sod has also chosen to go “brown” rather than stay green. I hope they bounce back before the summer is out—good luck to him!

Irrigation is a key to any sod replacement therapy technique. Due to tweaking of the sprinklers, I hope my sod will claim green as its favorite color for the rest of the summer. If not, we can see if the therapy works better after summers heat has fizzled. Or, we can embrace the cactus and other “lovely” plants that thrive on low moisture OR we can move….

Post-Monsoon Mushrooms

Due to the “much” rain in north Texas early this week, some of the fruits of the rain are creating the inevitable contrast with the grass (presently green). I am not talking about greener grass (although it is true). I am not talking about swimming pools that are still nearly overflowing. (In our pool, the pool will drain the water off until it gets below a certain level.) I am, of course, talking about the mushroom.

I saw many different varieties on my walk today. I had no confidence in any prior mushroom recognition skills to pick one up and start chewing. The varieties were all similar: some sort of toadstool type of thing. (Not good for eating anyways) Seeing that many made me think of how mushroom were a lot more numerous up north. While I am at it, it is worth noting the growth in the beds. The fungus loves the moisture. Its mottled brown kind of wavy growth is certainly not something you would plant. However, the fungus seems to either be a free additive in the bags of mulch or it is a special treasure the flower beds reserves for extra wet conditions. (My kids know they can expect to hear, “There is a fungus among us.” whenever I hear the word.)

It also must be noted the anger mushrooms seem to bring up in people. It seems observing a mushroom minding its own business is too much for people. They (or people like me) seem to find it overly compelling to either kick off the top of the mushroom or manually remove its lid. Fortunately, I have some restraint. I am usually content destroying only one of family of mushrooms. Some of my lesser brethren cannot resist the urge to destroy not only the family but any extended family that dwells in close proximity. (In the above picture one of the mushroom family was deceased and on the sidewalk…not at my hand or foot…)

Is there a moral here? Probably not. I hope in my observations someone might find a smile as their brains dance through the memories each reader has access to. And, if not, feel free to borrow some of my memories-none of mine are copyrighted!

Love This Story

I can’t help but love how this mother handled this problem. If something offends you, you don’t like it and none of the stores employees will take action, take out your credit card and purchase all of the offensive items. The great part is she will return the shirts w/i 60 days for a full refund.

There are different ways of protesting. Many may involve doing offensive things. But, this is a simple way to solve a problem w/o whining and making it everyone’s problem. I need to look for ways to do the same!

Getting Old (PG Version)

This is the year. No, not just any year. This is the year I hit the half century mark. I don’t feel it. Not having lived in anyone else s body before, it seems to feel about right. I will try and note what is different than it was 30 years ago (or 20, but maybe not 5):

Bifocals: Most days I almost don’t notice the switch I made to these special lenses. Did I say “Bi-focals”? I meant “Tri-focals”. I don’t wear contacts; I only wear the lenses. Most times the eyes feel like the eyes of a few decades ago. A recent book I was reading on the kindle has VERY small print. If reading in bed, I had to lean up and tilt my head back to get the right part of the lenses on the text. “The” special lenses are a little humbling. As aging goes, I don’t have any other optic concerns.
Bathroom visits: Fortunately, I don’t have many sleeping problems. (One will be noted shortly.) Unless you count me enjoying a big glass of tea after 6:00. If I do this, sleeping isn’t the problem, but sleeping the whole night is not likely to be unlikely. Around 2:00 I wander into the bathroom. If I am lucky, my brain never woke up. If I am unlucky (and the more likely), my brain has a series of random thoughts fro 30 minutes or so. (Random thoughts means there is brain activity–a good thing. AND, something that has been taking place in this declining body for all of the nearly 5 decades I have been neglecting it. Should I be doing daily brain exercises as I age or does bantering with the kids count?)
Spices: It just doesn’t sit as easily as it used to sit. If it is too spicy, all parts of my digestive tract are likely to voice their individual displeasure. I sometimes think, “I shouldn’t was these peppers that come with our fajitas.” A couple hours afterward, I realize wasting was the MUCH smarter choice.
Caffeine: I used to be able to have a few cups of coffee in the morning. The only downside was the taste quality deteriorated as I hit cup 3. Recently, I have found having 2 cups of coffee puts me MUCH more on edge. I am ready to leap through the phone with no explanation beyond being over-caffeine-stimulated. So, if I consider doing 2 cups on any given day, I need to put an hour or more between them. Sniff, Sniff. At least, tea seems to treat an almost “old” person with more respect!
Ear plugs: This has been a phenomenon of the past couple of years. With very few exceptions (one of those absolute exhaustion), ear plugs keep me brain from being excessively active. Not that I sleep in a bed with anyone who ever snores, but if I did, having something to mute the sound would certainly be a good thing. The obvious answer is as I have aged my brain has become a more efficient machine that sees sleep as just a luxury for the young and mentally deficient. Regardless, I prefer to indulge in regular sleep to try and keep this bag of bones operating long enough to allow time for the grey matter to work out its deep and world-changing thoughts.
Cracking joints: They always cracked some
Vitamins: Have taken them nearly all of my life. Now, they have titles like “50 plus” or mention helping with “male menopause” (or would it just be womenopause?). They have things to combat joint issues, prostate issues, and all of the issues that I didn’t want to think about when I was much younger.
Ears: I have not checked my ear lobes, but I have read they lengthen as we age. My ears now need shaved/plucked quite frequently. I am really not a fan of the part of the program. However, it is nothing a quick glance in the mirror and a couple of strong fingers can’t fix.

Walking Down Life's Road With Andy